Goodbye, Doug. Rest well.
10 years ago
Doug Winger was a pillar of foundation that a lot of the fandom was built on. As he slowly become more obscure due to deteriorating health, it was obvious how much of an influence he had been-- his work becoming the quintessential examples of "hyper" artwork, the portrayal of the "sultry, confident herm" character, and adult works filled with humor and puns that a lot of people tried to recreate, but never could quite mimic Doug's style.
As I look back at how the fandom has grown over the years and what role Doug played in it, at least among artists (of which I really don't count myself among them) he was a bit of a father (or crazy uncle) figure who never let his fame (which back in the 90s and early 10s was still *enormous* in the fandom, far bigger than any other's is now) get to his head. He never felt too big to offer advice when asked, share an opinion when prompted, and just happily socialize on the MUCK. He never grew jaded, he never became snobby, he never brushed people off. He was an exemplary person in a fandom that was still growing who we all could learn a lot from.
The very first portrayal of my demonform was by him: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1088052/ ... Which is awesome, but the one thing I'll never forget was a bunch of friends, sitting with him around a campfire on FurryMUCK, exchanging stories and ideas... and upon mentioning of my mousie wearing a Cammy White outfit... him photoshopping a random little gift together, completely out of the blue;
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1088034/
Imagine today, the most famous artist in the fandom, mingling happily in an open chatroom, and upon liking a random idea from a person he is talking with now and again but honestly doesn't know that well at all, photoshopping a cute little depiction of that idea together, and asking nothing in return.
That was Doug Winger.
I am angry with him for being stubborn.. for not accepting help when it was offered, and for not doing more to get healthy again. He had the support and love of an entire fandom behind him, yet he was too proud, and too much of a shut-in, to accept those offered hands.
But that, too, was Doug Winger.
Mostly I'm just sad to see him go... but it also means an end to what no doubt has been a lot of pain and suffering, caused by such heavy chainsmoking which is still a very real addiction.
I can't claim to know what comes after death.
Maybe our consciousness evaporates the moment the electrical impulses in our brain stop firing, and that is all there is.
Maybe no energy in the universe is ever lost, only redistributed, and whatever form of energy we have for a "soul" goes elsewhere, or becomes one with something bigger.
No matter the belief, I like to imagine Doug waking up after closing his eyes today, free of pain, and taking a liberating, deep, cough-free, double-lunged intake of air for the first time in what seems forever.
Doug.. you were, and always will be, a part of our fandom's history.
Rest well.
As I look back at how the fandom has grown over the years and what role Doug played in it, at least among artists (of which I really don't count myself among them) he was a bit of a father (or crazy uncle) figure who never let his fame (which back in the 90s and early 10s was still *enormous* in the fandom, far bigger than any other's is now) get to his head. He never felt too big to offer advice when asked, share an opinion when prompted, and just happily socialize on the MUCK. He never grew jaded, he never became snobby, he never brushed people off. He was an exemplary person in a fandom that was still growing who we all could learn a lot from.
The very first portrayal of my demonform was by him: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1088052/ ... Which is awesome, but the one thing I'll never forget was a bunch of friends, sitting with him around a campfire on FurryMUCK, exchanging stories and ideas... and upon mentioning of my mousie wearing a Cammy White outfit... him photoshopping a random little gift together, completely out of the blue;
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1088034/
Imagine today, the most famous artist in the fandom, mingling happily in an open chatroom, and upon liking a random idea from a person he is talking with now and again but honestly doesn't know that well at all, photoshopping a cute little depiction of that idea together, and asking nothing in return.
That was Doug Winger.
I am angry with him for being stubborn.. for not accepting help when it was offered, and for not doing more to get healthy again. He had the support and love of an entire fandom behind him, yet he was too proud, and too much of a shut-in, to accept those offered hands.
But that, too, was Doug Winger.
Mostly I'm just sad to see him go... but it also means an end to what no doubt has been a lot of pain and suffering, caused by such heavy chainsmoking which is still a very real addiction.
I can't claim to know what comes after death.
Maybe our consciousness evaporates the moment the electrical impulses in our brain stop firing, and that is all there is.
Maybe no energy in the universe is ever lost, only redistributed, and whatever form of energy we have for a "soul" goes elsewhere, or becomes one with something bigger.
No matter the belief, I like to imagine Doug waking up after closing his eyes today, free of pain, and taking a liberating, deep, cough-free, double-lunged intake of air for the first time in what seems forever.
Doug.. you were, and always will be, a part of our fandom's history.
Rest well.
FA+

I never knew him personally, but his awesome sense of humor and artistic talent will forever be missed. I'm sad I never ran into him and didn't have a chance to say "Hey, I love your stuff."