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Confession Journal
10 years ago
General
Ok, 'phew', it's time I talk about myself so you guys can understand me more, it's hard for me to explain it but I'll try my best, and hopefully you guys can see that the Anu in the internet is not the same as me in the internet. Two different things to see. So, where do I start...
My name in FurAffinity here is Shadow-Anubis, but my OC is named just Anu.
My Tumblr account name is Anu-The-Branded, sometimes I go by Kamin'Anu due to the Kamina outfit I posted up
But really my actual name in the real world is Jesus, or just "J" as a nickname I like going by. I'm a 23 year old hispanic that lives in LA who doesn't drive nor has a job and live with his family. I've been hunting for a stable job for 3-4 years by now since my last one laid me off when I was 19 years old, I'm sure there are others around here understands how tough it is to find one in this economy we're dealing with. I don't drink alcohol, ever, not for issues or to "have fun" like others do around here or in streams. I'm 5'06 tall and my weight goes between 180-195lbs back and forth for some reason, I was diagnosed with Autism since I was 3 years old and been trying to cope and be in more control of it over the years so I seem less severe then most other friends I know here in LA, yet that also means people can't tell if I am or not which kinda is hard for me since I'm somewhat sensitive to mistreatment as well as misunderstandments. Anywho...
For the longest while as I grow up, I always felt indifferent in the real life world. It sucks, I know it is and I wish it would get better instead of getting more hectic every day that passes by. During my High School years around 16 years old I joined FA but kept the age restriction on since that's the rules of this website, and as time passes by I grew friends in DeviantArt and sometimes here in FA, but around 17 I lost the majority of them to the point where all I had left was just a couple who stick by me. And what's even harder to deal with was the death of someone special to add to that pain. Thankfully I cope through it and try to be stronger emotionally as I grew up more, it was a bit of a challenge when my dad was being hard and somewhat verbally abusive towards me that I hated him for a while. After I graduated I went to get a job and attend at a community college so I can try and see how far I can reach my potential on both work and in school. Sadly though I had to drop out and I was cut from my job a little later afterwards, I was depressed and felt like a failure and didn't want to deal with it, so I've been living with my family for the time being so I got some sort of shelter and food while I job hunt for a job I can rely on and an income to move into a small apartment for me to relax. Then about 2 years ago when I became legal age to drink, my dad called me to talk, I wasn't in the mood to talk to him cause I was a bit sour after how he was with me, but I still went and talk with him like he ask. He introduced me to his girlfriend and at first I didn't care since it might end up like my step mom who was like 15 years younger then he was, but his girlfriend was a couple years younger and she seems very mature and knows a lot. I had to say she was probably the best influence to my dad cause from then on he's been much nicer to me and he somewhat accepted my autism as a real thing instead of an "excuse" he's been calling it since I was 5 years old. I was happy and I loved him since then, and I still do today.
Now then, my life here in the internet;
I know I got a lot of enemies, sometimes those enemies have friends that support them, leaving me in a bind where it affects my chances of getting quality friends and artists around here. But the truth of the matter is don't believe everything you hear until you know that person for who he/she really is and not rely on the words of others who over-exaggerates their worth or accuse with biased claims. People are people, that's how it is around here. Lemme explain something that separates the thin line between realism and imagination;
My OC Anu, he's what I type down a "Stud'cario" here and there as well as saying how cool and sexy and all of the stuff in RPs and pics and whatnot about him. Am I a bad person for expressing what my imagination freely creates and show it to the public? Are ANY of you a bad person to have free will of being creative? Honestly, no, not any one of you are at fault because that's how we humans are. Sure there are a lot who think differently and that causes conflict with others I can understand, but still the point of the subject is that I am not at fault of freely expressing my imagination to the public here.
Now for a misunderstanding subject a ton of people seem to don't or refuse to take into consideration:
My OC Anu is a tall, handsome, strong, well built and hung, as well as many other things that I've expressed in him.
Then there's Me, Anu is NOT a representation of me in any way or form that people seem to be easily blinded by that fact, I'm not that tall, I'm not that well fit, I don't have silver hair, big muscles, nor even special body perks like he do. The real me is nothing like him nor his personality or anything for that at all. All my friends here in FA know the real me and they know that Anu isn't me, they just call me Anu as a nickname since he's the OC I use the majority of the time in RPs or when people look through my gallery. OCs here in the internet and Real people are never one in the same at all, I just shape Anu' personality to be enjoyable to most and to others an annoyance out of just spite or jealousy as well. But in the end all people should do is just hate the character and only deal with it, they can't hate the person unless they fully know the person as themselves.
I'm always open to talk with new people, if you want me to talk to you as the normal me then that's ok, or as my OC then that's alright too. Cause in the end; Our OCs are like a role in a movie, the real people behind it are just the actors. Cause if some people are quite gullible enough to believe OCs and real people are the same thing, then that means Robert Downey Jr is spending all his money to make an Iron Man suit, Samuel L. Jackson is a stone-cold murderer a couple decades ago, Arnold Schwarzenegger is really a cyborg in public, and Johnny Depp has Multi-Personality Disorder of being a Pirate, a scissor finger creation, Mad Hatter, and Willy Wonka. Seriously, don't blame the actors, just the roles.
We're all actors, the internet is our movie, and our creations are the roles we play but never become.
I hope you all understand me more, I'm more then willing to chat with you guys and let you all know me more of the real me. But if you're into RPing with me or something then sure I don't mind, either way I'm open to making new friends or just having conversations with you guys.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
My name in FurAffinity here is Shadow-Anubis, but my OC is named just Anu.
My Tumblr account name is Anu-The-Branded, sometimes I go by Kamin'Anu due to the Kamina outfit I posted up
But really my actual name in the real world is Jesus, or just "J" as a nickname I like going by. I'm a 23 year old hispanic that lives in LA who doesn't drive nor has a job and live with his family. I've been hunting for a stable job for 3-4 years by now since my last one laid me off when I was 19 years old, I'm sure there are others around here understands how tough it is to find one in this economy we're dealing with. I don't drink alcohol, ever, not for issues or to "have fun" like others do around here or in streams. I'm 5'06 tall and my weight goes between 180-195lbs back and forth for some reason, I was diagnosed with Autism since I was 3 years old and been trying to cope and be in more control of it over the years so I seem less severe then most other friends I know here in LA, yet that also means people can't tell if I am or not which kinda is hard for me since I'm somewhat sensitive to mistreatment as well as misunderstandments. Anywho...
For the longest while as I grow up, I always felt indifferent in the real life world. It sucks, I know it is and I wish it would get better instead of getting more hectic every day that passes by. During my High School years around 16 years old I joined FA but kept the age restriction on since that's the rules of this website, and as time passes by I grew friends in DeviantArt and sometimes here in FA, but around 17 I lost the majority of them to the point where all I had left was just a couple who stick by me. And what's even harder to deal with was the death of someone special to add to that pain. Thankfully I cope through it and try to be stronger emotionally as I grew up more, it was a bit of a challenge when my dad was being hard and somewhat verbally abusive towards me that I hated him for a while. After I graduated I went to get a job and attend at a community college so I can try and see how far I can reach my potential on both work and in school. Sadly though I had to drop out and I was cut from my job a little later afterwards, I was depressed and felt like a failure and didn't want to deal with it, so I've been living with my family for the time being so I got some sort of shelter and food while I job hunt for a job I can rely on and an income to move into a small apartment for me to relax. Then about 2 years ago when I became legal age to drink, my dad called me to talk, I wasn't in the mood to talk to him cause I was a bit sour after how he was with me, but I still went and talk with him like he ask. He introduced me to his girlfriend and at first I didn't care since it might end up like my step mom who was like 15 years younger then he was, but his girlfriend was a couple years younger and she seems very mature and knows a lot. I had to say she was probably the best influence to my dad cause from then on he's been much nicer to me and he somewhat accepted my autism as a real thing instead of an "excuse" he's been calling it since I was 5 years old. I was happy and I loved him since then, and I still do today.
Now then, my life here in the internet;
I know I got a lot of enemies, sometimes those enemies have friends that support them, leaving me in a bind where it affects my chances of getting quality friends and artists around here. But the truth of the matter is don't believe everything you hear until you know that person for who he/she really is and not rely on the words of others who over-exaggerates their worth or accuse with biased claims. People are people, that's how it is around here. Lemme explain something that separates the thin line between realism and imagination;
My OC Anu, he's what I type down a "Stud'cario" here and there as well as saying how cool and sexy and all of the stuff in RPs and pics and whatnot about him. Am I a bad person for expressing what my imagination freely creates and show it to the public? Are ANY of you a bad person to have free will of being creative? Honestly, no, not any one of you are at fault because that's how we humans are. Sure there are a lot who think differently and that causes conflict with others I can understand, but still the point of the subject is that I am not at fault of freely expressing my imagination to the public here.
Now for a misunderstanding subject a ton of people seem to don't or refuse to take into consideration:
My OC Anu is a tall, handsome, strong, well built and hung, as well as many other things that I've expressed in him.
Then there's Me, Anu is NOT a representation of me in any way or form that people seem to be easily blinded by that fact, I'm not that tall, I'm not that well fit, I don't have silver hair, big muscles, nor even special body perks like he do. The real me is nothing like him nor his personality or anything for that at all. All my friends here in FA know the real me and they know that Anu isn't me, they just call me Anu as a nickname since he's the OC I use the majority of the time in RPs or when people look through my gallery. OCs here in the internet and Real people are never one in the same at all, I just shape Anu' personality to be enjoyable to most and to others an annoyance out of just spite or jealousy as well. But in the end all people should do is just hate the character and only deal with it, they can't hate the person unless they fully know the person as themselves.
I'm always open to talk with new people, if you want me to talk to you as the normal me then that's ok, or as my OC then that's alright too. Cause in the end; Our OCs are like a role in a movie, the real people behind it are just the actors. Cause if some people are quite gullible enough to believe OCs and real people are the same thing, then that means Robert Downey Jr is spending all his money to make an Iron Man suit, Samuel L. Jackson is a stone-cold murderer a couple decades ago, Arnold Schwarzenegger is really a cyborg in public, and Johnny Depp has Multi-Personality Disorder of being a Pirate, a scissor finger creation, Mad Hatter, and Willy Wonka. Seriously, don't blame the actors, just the roles.
We're all actors, the internet is our movie, and our creations are the roles we play but never become.
I hope you all understand me more, I'm more then willing to chat with you guys and let you all know me more of the real me. But if you're into RPing with me or something then sure I don't mind, either way I'm open to making new friends or just having conversations with you guys.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
But I would not worry Anu
Don't let them bother you bud. I'll still be your friend even when everyone else leaves.
you know i wasn't thinking Jesus was your real name honestly until reading this, just with your personal life i learn alot i feel bad how your father treated you.
I also didn't get to complete my community college, and only had temporary job situations. Glad to hear your father situation is getting better.
I completely agree with you on the OC and RL differences. I do hope good things come your way, you sound like a nice person.
Although I do have a low spectrum (Aspergers)
It's still hard to handle