Yesterday was a really tough day. His condition has not improved since his admission into the MICU, except to say that all of the scary concerns have been quelled. His heart is still in afib (90 to 130 bpm), but his pneumonia is gone, all cultures have come back negative for infection, no internal bleeding, and his heart/lung/head/abdomen scans all show good, clear activity. He's been receiving 1500-calorie feedings daily via tube and he remains in the ventilator to assist breathing. The puzzling problem now is why he's still there. Everything shows that he's "okay" but he still cannot move and his breathing is too shallow. They've ruled out stroke and seizure but they're testing again with a 24 hour EEG scan. I really don't know what they'll find. If anything. Two months ago my dad was moving boulders and cutting lawns and then he got a bout of sudden tiredness. Now he's here fighting for his life. No one understands it. Now I've got case workers calling me daily to convince me to stop everything and just let things transpire on their own. Lovely bunch of people.

The worst part to all of this is that I am the living embodiment of Harry Chapin's, "Cats in the Cradle"; we just never really connect. I see him twice a year for a few hours and he's always trying to do things that I just can't get to because of work and life and now here I am feeling insurmountably guilty and no light at the end of the tunnel.

Seize the moment while you can. Family is precious.