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Work Stress
10 years ago
General
So, yeah. I've not updated this thing in a while but I feel like I need an outlet at the moment.
Some of you may be aware that, at the start of the year, I left the civil service and joined a FTSE100 company to help them with their product security. It's a lucrative job and I'm being paid well, so I feel like I owe my employer something.
Things were going well to begin with. I feel like I've made an impression and I've got my colleagues thinking about the role that information has in our products and its value, I had a manageable workload and I was making an impression around the business. I had a research project and a systems development day job and those kept me busy all week. So far, so good.
About two months into my job it was decided by my superiors that I'd also be supporting another development project and that my time would be split roughly 50/50 between my original work and this new project; I had no say in this and it was presented to me as a fait accompli by my new part-time boss. As I was still new in the business I was keen to impress and I didn't want to kick up a fuss - this is where the trouble began.
Within a month I had another research project and I was expected to keep pace with the rest of my second team who were all working full time on the project. I'm now under pressure to deliver to the same deadlines, despite having half the time to complete the same tasks. I point this out during planning meetings but it feels like it's falling on deaf ears because delivery is king and the overriding concern of my superiors is meeting deadlines.
It's got to the point now that when I'm at work I'm irritable with my colleagues, short with my boss and seek solitude to concentrate on my work, which is no easy task in an open-plan office. When I'm not at work I'm thinking about work and feeling anxious because I've still got so much to do before the next deadline. I'm working late, working weekends and actively considering cancelling Eurofurence to get an extra week of work in on the off chance it will help me meet my next deadline. I'll lose the money I spent on flights, con fee and hotel, but that doesn't seem to matter much right now.
I don't really know what to do. I feel like if I keep going like this I will have a breakdown or lose it at work, but the thought of failure is shameful as well. I'm still in my first year so if I screw up I expect I'll be out on my arse. I also realise that I'm lucky to have a job - one friend has been made redundant lately and a very good friend is unemployed as a direct result of me quitting my last job and moving house, so I've got to make this work.
God, I feel lost right now.
Some of you may be aware that, at the start of the year, I left the civil service and joined a FTSE100 company to help them with their product security. It's a lucrative job and I'm being paid well, so I feel like I owe my employer something.
Things were going well to begin with. I feel like I've made an impression and I've got my colleagues thinking about the role that information has in our products and its value, I had a manageable workload and I was making an impression around the business. I had a research project and a systems development day job and those kept me busy all week. So far, so good.
About two months into my job it was decided by my superiors that I'd also be supporting another development project and that my time would be split roughly 50/50 between my original work and this new project; I had no say in this and it was presented to me as a fait accompli by my new part-time boss. As I was still new in the business I was keen to impress and I didn't want to kick up a fuss - this is where the trouble began.
Within a month I had another research project and I was expected to keep pace with the rest of my second team who were all working full time on the project. I'm now under pressure to deliver to the same deadlines, despite having half the time to complete the same tasks. I point this out during planning meetings but it feels like it's falling on deaf ears because delivery is king and the overriding concern of my superiors is meeting deadlines.
It's got to the point now that when I'm at work I'm irritable with my colleagues, short with my boss and seek solitude to concentrate on my work, which is no easy task in an open-plan office. When I'm not at work I'm thinking about work and feeling anxious because I've still got so much to do before the next deadline. I'm working late, working weekends and actively considering cancelling Eurofurence to get an extra week of work in on the off chance it will help me meet my next deadline. I'll lose the money I spent on flights, con fee and hotel, but that doesn't seem to matter much right now.
I don't really know what to do. I feel like if I keep going like this I will have a breakdown or lose it at work, but the thought of failure is shameful as well. I'm still in my first year so if I screw up I expect I'll be out on my arse. I also realise that I'm lucky to have a job - one friend has been made redundant lately and a very good friend is unemployed as a direct result of me quitting my last job and moving house, so I've got to make this work.
God, I feel lost right now.
shizlgizngar
~shizlgizngar
I know it sounds like a long shot, but perhaps try some mindfulness meditation? It's becoming very popular among people with hectic working lives and once you get the hang of it, it really helps
Crosscheck
~crosscheck
I know very much where the feeling comes from. My old boss told me not to let it get to me, that things would be done when they got done. I hate missing deadlines and lord knows I certainly cover enough OT hours or cancel trips all the time to meet them, but sometimes things just have to slide because the resources weren't allocated right. There's simply a limit to what you can do and believing that someone else can push you harder to make you jump past that limit will just not be productive to anyone. If you weren't so green with the company you could draw a harder line but I've seen it everywhere I've gone. Until you earn your stripes so to speak, they'll push you either to gauge you or simply because they can... although that seems a more American process...
