Really you should read  ursa-mina journal at http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6953993/ it is much better.

Nekosune and my journey started on Thursday, leaving Aberdeen and driving to Coventry, http://bit.ly/1WeMiX8
We stated the Thursday night at the totally adorable Aimee's flat and watched some Kung Fu Hustle whilst nomnoming on pizza but we were still hungry so a quick trip to tesco and some cheap chicken and cheese later and we were enjoying the finest very quickly made Hunter's Chicken i could manage, it was good.

In the morning we gave Aimee some more cuddles and hung around for a bits before going to pick up Gem from the train station, then driving out and picking up Ursie from her flat.

My car is pretty tiny wee, http://bit.ly/1JSFN7o, the boot was already full so poor Ursie and Gem had to wiggle around in the back playing tetris with bags.
We then had ages, (like two and a bit hours) until Zee-Zee got home so we decided to do something and the thing we decided to do was go to the Stratford Butterfly farm, a place with no evil butterflies and just lots of happy sort of little makingness and it was amazing, the place is beautiful there's so many butterflies inside, there's some scary arachnids and some awesome lizards, we had a reallllllllly long slow wonder around and filled up the SD cards of our phones quite heavily.

We wondered around the riverfront of Stratford and decided on scones, jam and cream for high-tea, it was really amazing with fresh scones that just melted in our mouths.
Ursie then treated us to ice cream, i was kinda expecting tiny teeny ice cream but it was giant and delicious.

Then started the drive up to Belper, it was short but Gem still fell asleep during it of course.
We arrived at Zee-Zee place ahead of time, he lives in a haunted hotel (the ghost makes a buzzing sound, but only during the day and only when people across the street want to get in to the building there.)

I decided i really wanted to be little, or at least try so the moment we got in I got changed into some crinkles and my dashie sleeper, this was pretty nice as it was good to relax after the drive, we ate lots of candy, some pizza was ordered in and there was lots of cuddling, it was really nice, i was pretty exhausted and crawled into the spare bedroom and collapsed asleep.

Saturday, wasn't a great day for me, i woke up with a pounding headache and feeling just terrible all over, i wanted to go off to the caves with everyone else but my body didn't, maybe couldn't even it just wanted to sleep some more.
Having everyone leave kinda did a lot of bad things for me, i started as i often do to retreat inwards, get very insular and overthinking lots, after an 2 hour nap i woke up, needed to get some more water and just changed out of dashie.
In my head, i'd failed already at being little. I should have gone off and had fun with the others.
I slept another 3 hours and woke up feeling still kinda not great, physically and mentally now as everyone came back about half an hour later and i was all in caretaker headspace.

I had lots of fun looking after peoples still, don't think for a moment i didn't really enjoy this trip, i was just dealing emotionally with a lot of things already.
I felt mostly like i'd let down and disappointed my mommy and daddy, so i kept trying to find ways to join in with being little, kept looking for ways to help myself, but i just retreated further away, getting Neko dressed up in my dressy dress so i couldn't locking myself out of that option, sabotaging myself from the conduits i use to get little in the first place.

I still had a super amazing time getting Gem all little, rocking her to sleep for a bit on my lap, cuddling up with Ursie and Zee-Zee.

By bed time i was feeling pretty terrible with myself and when i got to bed i had a bit of a little breakdown. I was supposed to be a puppy and i was being very bad at it, i hadn't joined in anything little at all.

Sunday was betterer, i felt a little more up despite it being the last day, we had decided to go to the Robin Hood festival, i kinda thought it might be a bad idea as it would be horribly busy and should have said more but didn't, the not being little yesterday meant i really wanted to try harder, the drive there was long and there was lots of traffic it took a long time to get to the carpark and it was too expensive, thankfully we found a place just nearby that we could park for free!

We walked up and the festival was super crowded, we found gem, zee-zee and friendly and after walking a bit around found it was just too busy for doing much of anything so we slunk off to a pub which was quiet and really nice, had some super interesting conversations.

Then it was time for heading home, gave zee-zee and friendly lots of hugs and we started to drive back to Coventry, we got talking lots in the car which was really super nice as well, lots of stuff can't talk about but got me kinda excited.

We dropped Gem off at the non-electric electric train museum and waited around a little to make sure she wasn't abducted before dropping Ursie of at her place.

Then it was back to Aimee again for more cuddles.

During the night I really had a proper breakdown, i was on the phone to mommy and daddy for a few hours just crying lots and feeling proper bad about how things had gone.

How i could have done better.

Most of monday was spent travelling back up to Aberdeen, i felt proper bad a few times and we didn't get home until about 1030 when i was feeling really sleepy exhausted.

Back in my own bed, i cried a whole bunch more to mommy and daddy.

But please believe me, I had an amazingly great time, i really enjoyed meeting up with people and it's something i need to do more. Something i want to do more of.

I wish it wasn't so far away from everything, 8 hours of driving didn't help things at all, just leaving me feeling worn and spent.

But it was worth it.