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10 years ago
Looking back at my almost 10 years into the furry/vore community, I'm trying to understand whether it's been something positive or negative.
I met a lot of people, nice, interesting, lovely... most of them have disappeared without reason and some have just stopped chatting with me. I'm left with only three of them and only two still talks to me. Many had fooled me, some got me depressed: every time I lost one, I kept asking myself why... was it my fault? I kept wondering what I did wrong and eventually grew so insecure that I stopped approaching people.
And here I am now, depressed once again for the joy of those who wanted it. I'm so sorry for those who are watching me because I could draw more but it feels pointless at the moment.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, at 1 am, useless journal that sound just like a whining and maybe it is.
It leaves such a bitter aftertaste, after all these years wishing not having found the furry/vore community at all. Some happy moments, even love... but mostly disappointment.
Goodnight to whoever managed to read so far.
I met a lot of people, nice, interesting, lovely... most of them have disappeared without reason and some have just stopped chatting with me. I'm left with only three of them and only two still talks to me. Many had fooled me, some got me depressed: every time I lost one, I kept asking myself why... was it my fault? I kept wondering what I did wrong and eventually grew so insecure that I stopped approaching people.
And here I am now, depressed once again for the joy of those who wanted it. I'm so sorry for those who are watching me because I could draw more but it feels pointless at the moment.
I don't even know why I'm writing this, at 1 am, useless journal that sound just like a whining and maybe it is.
It leaves such a bitter aftertaste, after all these years wishing not having found the furry/vore community at all. Some happy moments, even love... but mostly disappointment.
Goodnight to whoever managed to read so far.
I stopped using messengers, because all of the people I used to talk to, had moved along to things that I had no interested in. I don't play video games and I rarely have time to RP, and that seems to be the only thing I might have in common with most of the people I used to know.
Yes, I do still hang out in the OOC room on villichat.net, but nearly all of the people there, have been there for less than 2-3 years. Nearly all of my old friends from 15 years ago have moved away from Yum Chat years ago (Sharky being one of the few exceptions), and I never see them any more. September 12th will be the 15-year anniversary for Yum Chat, but there will be nobody to actually celebrate it with.
Most of my time is now spent here on FA, replying to submissions and journals, still enjoying vore, but it all feels so different from what it used to be like. For many people, vore is more of a fad, than a fetish. They are into it while all the 'cool kids' are also into it, but then they lose interest and move on. It's much harder to find people who cannot go through the day without thinking about vore in some manner.
There are still many good people around, so I hope that you don't give up. Yes, it can be depressing at times, but sometimes we need to put the past behind us and look forward to meeting new people who share our interests. It's always difficult to lose those friends we held so close to our hearts, but there are always new friends to make and new joys to have.
Good luck on feeling better.
I feel less alone.
*hugs*