Yea, i know most of you dont care much for religious talk, but there were so many things that i let go of.

one of them being my faith in god. there were things that i really needed to fix. my relationship with my family has never been perfect, but who can say they ever can be. I prayed for strength and the motivation to not give in to the idea that ill never find real work. i prayed to give thanks to the 20 years of life i have been given. i prayed to give thanks to my sisters beautiful children, and i prayed for another day of life. I prayed for the strength to resist the pull of lust that has been shoved in my face by others to follow.

to me, religion has always been there, all my life. i just got lost.

i know prayer can sometimes be thought of as a way to ask greedy favors, but to me, its a guidance and comfort of knowing that no matter where we are, and what situations life has put us in, you are never without a voice to be heard.

i prayed really hard that me and Lanna can be more than just voices and pretty words. nobody but me and my higher power knows how deeply i feel for this girl. if only i could hold you in my arms and tel you how much you mean to me lanna, i would be the man ive only dremed to be. each night, each dream, and each time i see you face brings me closer to running as long and as hard as i can just to be able to feel me getting inches closer to you. and for that, i thank god that i have been blessed to continue our relationship together, even after i let you down.

Im feeling the weight of my life mistakes lifted. all because of your smile, and the thoughts of my soul.