So many years ago, I had this roomate. She had invited her blind date to the house for dinner. [who Does that with blind dates?!]

She's making meatloaf...and is trying to get ready. She asks me to keep an eye on it. Hehehehe Sure! There wa some leftover meatloaf stuffs, and I got an EVIL idea! So, I took the meatloaf stuff, and started sculpting.

Once I was done, I threw it in the oven and waited. Not long after, dinner was ready, she of course was not. Her date shows up...."Angel can you get the door please?" Sure!!! Muahahhaah!

So I grab my pan, and go to the door. There stood a tall, blond slender man. He seemed nice, and he was certainly handsome.

Smiling...."Hi! I'm Angel! You must be Michelle's date?

Him: "Yeah, I'm [i forgot his name]

I invite him in...and then showed him the pan...just then...Michelle comes out just intime for this.

Me ; " Here's what is for dinner tonight! CockLoaf!" I had made a dick shaped complete with balls meatloaf.

Michelle is now freaking out "OMG I CAN'T BE...NO! OH GOD I'M SO SORRY!"

She's trying to take the pan from me. Meanwhile he lets out this awesome laugh and proclaims that he would have some of the shaft!

I liked him. He got my twisted sense of humor. Sadly...she didn't stay with him. Too bad too, he was good for her.

So yes, Fear my Cooking! for i will present you with...Something cock related!

Oh my god that's amazing! xD i will never trust you in my kitchen... unless you allow me in on your mischievous acts of cock-inary arts!

Omg that's an awesome story, thank you. x3 I'm sad she didn't stick with him. guys with good humor who can take a joke are good. -3-

ANY kind of story? I'm gonna copy n paste a comment i did from another journal:


Oh really now? I think you're viewing the whole "i have to look pretty otherwise others would NEVER date me" from too much of a shitty prospective. Take what happened to me for example.

Back in middle school there was this guy who was really, really ugly and he ended up finishing last in a list girls in our class made to classify the prettiest guys in our class. Because of this, we started picking up on him and treating him like shit. I remember i would literally creep the fuck out whenever he touched my, because in my mind he was the "most ugly piece of crap humanity had to offer", and we kept torturing him for a couple years.

Fastforward to high school, i discovered he was in my same school (not class) and i was schocked. I literally forgot the times when i was such an asshole to him, i was too busy changing mentality during 8th-9th grade summer. I kind of shyly went up to him and said hey i'm sorry i was such a piece of shit n stuff, and his response made me wanna throw up, but not in a bad way. He told me he wasn't angry and a series of words made me feel like the amount of kindness this guy had was disgusting, it's like i stabbed his mother and he forgave me. I'm so glad he said it didn't matter, i'm so glad he runs up to me whenever we're the only two of our class combined that show up at assemblies, i'm so glad he shows up from time to time in my class during break. I quickly fell in love with him, he hugs me and all and it makes me so fucking happy. He's straight but still so-- i don't even know.

So there you have it, from pointless hating to loving in a few months. I know you hear 24/7 the phrase "yeah but what matter is inside" and you feel like it's cheesy and an obvious thing people always say, and i feel you, i didn't believe that too a couple years ago. But i guess you only learn by experience, and i hope you'll get the chance too. In fact, the same applies to them, stop saying that they have to look pretty. You both learn, you both win. Two birds one stone.

That's a great story... i'm really glad there was some real learning in there. I feel like you grew up a lot and that you fully acknowledge the lessons you learned. So honestly, good for you. ^^

I knew similar people like that boy back in grade school. people you never even tried to understand and hated on just so that YOU wouldn't be hated on... I wish i knew where those kids were so that i could apologize as well.

I've always once BEEN like that kid, the butt of everyone else's jokes and never accepted into anything.

It's a hard world we live in, but it takes all kinds. I truly believe it's what inside that matters most. ^^

Yeah, it sucks that people are being made fun of just because someone doesn't know how to spend boring hours in school, and these people are the same ones that say that this behaivor is wrong when the professor is present.

This stupid law of the jungle rule is so irritating, and if you are not quick enough to make fun of someone else you'll find yourself being picked up. Mors tua, vita mea i guess..

Once upon a time, there lived a flamingo who couldn't fly. He was a lonely flamingo because all the other flamingos flew away. One day, he met an octopus names Mark. Mark the octopus was hungry. The lonely flamingo searched and searched to find food for Mark, but it was no use. There was no food left for Mark. Suddenly, Mark had an idea. He wrapped his tentacles around the flamingo and took advantage of him. After Mark had had his fun, he mercilessly consumed the poor flamingo, leaving feathers all over the ground. That is why, to this day, you will never see a flamingo in Canada ever again.

That was a wild ride, yo. xD it explains all the wild octopi lurking around the land of Canadia.

LIFE STORY
Right now I have big aspirations for the near future, that is, getting a second source of income alongside my current part time job, and using my extra wages to afford the rent on a new property. I'd love to find independence in a sanctuary I can call my own.

TALKING OF STORIES
FoxAmoore released [url=http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17518867/]a new single today[/a]. Once again, Fox's music makes me desirous to know more about the subject matter. It seems RenardThatch is one of those story weaver types, in the vein of karmakat. Here's to hoping that a full album music based off his tales comes to fruition!

Woo! Seriously, i wish you the best in your aspirations. :D I'm actually making some big changes for the same reason, looking to get into my own place. (i've lived with family, roommates and by myself, and i gotta say, there's major freedom in having your own home.) I seriously wish you the best. ^^

And yes, SO much love for any projects done by Fox Amoore... he did a piece for me based around my super hero character the Watchdog, and i listen to it often. He has so much talent, and is an AMAZING guy. i got to meet him once, and i only hope i get to meet him again. If even i have the finances, i hope to be able to commission him again and again!

I'm going to hang out with Fox tomorrow; he's playing at a few gigs in Liverpool and is hoping that I can come over and watch him. I just wish I could bring some friends with me.

That is so amazing! i'm from the US, so it's much harder for me to get out and see him perform. i really hoped hat he has a gig going on the next time i'm in your part of the world. :D

Please telling him that Eddie says hello, if you can and don't mind. x3 He's SUCH a cool dude, i miss him a lot.

A dirty story? What the hell... why not a little flash fiction!

***

The fox giggled nervously, gesturing toward a large landing craft in the vast docking bay of the interstellar cruiser Armstrong. "You sure no one will spot us in here?" he said, his white-tipped tail hiked and wagging, showing the rear seam of his close-fitting dark blue and black final-year cadet uniform contoured exquisitely between the cheeks of his elegantly rounded rump.

His companion, a slender genet just a year out of the academy, a gold corporal's whorl on the sleeves of his tight white and dark red bodysuit, gave the fox a wink. "Trust me, this part of the ship is pretty dead most days. Nobody's scheduled to come or go for the next week and Antares sector has been really quiet for months. And anyway, you're not the first I've played with in here... though you are my first male."

The fox grinned, brushing his big, soft tail against the bulge in the front of the genet's uniform. "Is that so?" he cooed. "I'll certainly aim to please. Lead on!"

The two walked toward a loading ramp that led into the cargo bay of the landing craft. The genet turned toward a ladder and began climbing. "This way," he said.

The fox climbed up close behind him, gazing up at the genet's lithe body. "What a view!" he chirped lustily.

"Wait till you see me out of the uniform," the genet replied with equally ardent desire.

Up the ladded and down a short corridor, they found the crew berths. These craft were mainly for short cargo runs, and unlike the interstellar cruisers their large size and small crews meant they could give each crew member a much larger space.

The genet slid open a conventional, unpowered door at the end of the corridor. "Right this way, handsome," he purred.

Inside, the fox saw a large, cozy room with homelike decor and a big, soft bed with satin cushions. "So this is why the cargo crew captains hate coming back to the ship," the fox mused.

The genet slid the door closed. "Now, where were we?" he said, sllinking over to the fox, putting an arm around his waist and one on the back of his head, pulling him close and grinding against the fox's package. The fox let out a slight squeak of excitement and responded to the embrace by kissing the genet deeply, their narrow muzzles sliding over each other as two catlike tongues met and two sheaths bulged against each other.

They held the kiss for a very long time, moaning and grinding, the genet fondling the fox's ears and the fox returning the gesture.

At last they broke the kiss. "You ready?" the genet said, pressing a point on the right side of his suit. The suit instantly drew away from most of his body, becoming barely more than a pair of bikini briefs. He touched the same point on the fox's suit.

The fox grinned. "I am now." He slid the waistband of his briefs down a bit, turning around to give the genet a bit of a strip tease, wiggling his ass in the air and flagging his tail enticingly as he slowly worked the briefs down one cheek, then the other, then slid out of them and with a flick of his legs, tossed them into the air and caught them on one finger. He twirled the blue and black briefs, strutting in a circle so the genet could check out every inch of his slightly androgynous orange, white, and black-furred body.

The genet slid his briefs down and began massaging his sheath. "You going to keep teasing me or are we gonna fuck?" he said with a smirk. The fox replied by embracing the genet once more, renewing the kissing and grinding and then falling back onto the bed, pulling the genet with him.

"So, you wanna fuck me first?" the genet asked as he broke the kiss.

"Actually, I'd rather let you take me first. If I take you we'll be stuck here a while... um... you don't have barbs do you?" the fox asked.

"No, I'm smooth down there," he said.

"Good... Barbs are a bit much for me," the fox replied.

The genet walked over to a dispenser on the wall, still powered on through the auxiliary power. He touched the screen, selecting a menu item, and then put his hands under a nozzle. Clear, slick liquid poured out, and he began rubbing it on his rapidly-firming shaft. "Hope you're ready for me, foxy," he said, leaping onto the bed and pouncing onto the fox.

The fox yipped excitedly, and the two wrestled playfully before the genet had him flat on his belly. The fox felt the pointed tip of the genet's member slide in deep on the first thrust and moaned loudly.

"Sorry, too loud?" the fox asked.

The genet began to thrust wildly. "Moan as loud as you want for me, foxy," he said lustily. "These rooms are soundproof... and I like hearing you take my cock. Mmmm.... fuck, you're tight!'

The fox dug his claws into the sheets, his eyes closed and his mouth wide in a pleasured grin as he panted, each hard thrust pushing his cock against the soft satin sheets and nailing his prostate with a fine point. A hot tightness began to grow between his legs and he knew he wouldn't last long. This guy was good... really good. Why hadn't they done this before? His last year as a cadet would be amazing if he could make friends like these.

The fox came hands-free a moment later, letting out a pleasured yowl as three thick streamers of musky spunk shot out of his twitching cock and onto the sheets. His rear clenched, driving the genet to finish a few thrusts later.

The genet flopped onto the bed beside him, scritching the fox's ear.

"How was your first time with a male?" the fox asked.

"Excellent," the genet replied.

Just then, a holographic broadcast beamed into the room.

The two saw a wolverine in a black suit. Behind him was the skull, crossbones, and Scorpio constellation of an Antarean pirate ship.

"Wakey-wakey, DSS Armstrong!" the wolverine said with a snarl. "I bet you thought there weren't any pirates left in the Antares system, didn't you? Well, I'm about to pay you boys a little visit. I'm afraid I can't wait for permission to come aboard so I'll be entering your loading bay in exactly three minutes. See you when I get there!"

The fox and the genet looked at each other, dumbstruck.

"Good thing you don't have a knot," the fox said, jumping off the bed and sliding the briefs that had been his uniform on, pressing a point on the side and turning it back into a full-body suit. The genet followed and did the same.

"Let's get some proper vacuum-rated suits on, I imagine he's not the sort to be courteous enough to close the air lock," the genet replied.

The two ran from the loading bay to the locker room as fast as they could... with obvious erections still visible under their skin-tight uniforms.

xD oh my, those poor boys. 5 minutes of pleasure then it's RIGHT back to work.

I love their uniforms~ Nice and simple on and off. ;p would make things so much simpler.

When it comes to the barbs, i've always wondered if they'd make a brand of kitty condoms that would protect from them in an anthro world. x3 ANTI ribbed.

Thank you for your story. :D

It was fun to write!

I actually had similar suits in mind in my book "The Vimana Incident." I just love the idea of sexy anthro boys in tight futuristic bodysuits, and of hook-ups in deep space (what else are you going to do 100 million light years from home?).

And yeah, condoms for tigers and the like would be tricky.

i still need to come up with stories to use my characters for :<

i even have a proper supervillain now, i just need to get her to rob some banks n junk

I always start with a clear and justified reasoning behind the crime. Is it greed? Is there an underlying purpose? If they are stealing money, what would they do with it all? Do they have a goal in mind? Trying to hurt someone? Save someone?

The villain is only as good as their reasoning, in my book. ;P

Good luck! If you need someone to bounce a few ideas off of, shoot me a message. x3 i'll be glad to listen and give you a bit of feedback, if you want.

I went to the dentist and got my hair cut. X3

And the dentist's? What a weird dentist office you got. XD

But it sounds like you're keeping yourself pretty and healthy. ;P Good on ya!

I should have said the barber. X3

One time there was a guy

:O
What Guy?

Once upon a time, I met the most wonderful man in the world, and fell in love. The only problem was that he was dating another guy. I suffered for a long time, and went through other guys, thinking that it just wasn't meant to be. After my third failed relationship, I confessed my feelings. And he told me that he loved me too. We're together now.

And that's why clear honesty is (almost) always the best solution. :D Sometimes the initial confession can really push a friendship into a meaningful relationship.