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organizing thoughts
16 years ago
When i have a mate it seems like something always happens to separate us, and i have worked in the past to keep things going or to try to but i dunno. I mean i have plenty of time to go for someone and be happy. But, loneliness is what grips me which causes more problems. A pillow to hold tight at night doesn't replace the feelings of another. But the word love just seems to poison the mind and the body. You want to be close to someone but you can't for the emotions that cover your past, sanity to insanity and back to sanity. Happiness to sadness and back again.
Why do i seek what is lost? So i can find what needs to be found. What do i seek that needs to be found? I seek that which i have lost.
the riddle goes over and over in an everlasting cycle.
I usually like puzzles but this has been one that i can't solve, to date not to date. To date fur or not to date fur, where is the stable point that i need be at? Or is chaos the point where i should stay?
And when i do get into a relationship i try to make the other as happy as possible, i never complain if they do something i don't like, and i forgive them for everything. But, even that can be a very bad thing, cause then only more problem arise from it. I need to be more direct and open to things that others do, but i hate making others sad or making them hate me...
To life there is never an easy way to things, but i guess that's why it's life.
Why do i seek what is lost? So i can find what needs to be found. What do i seek that needs to be found? I seek that which i have lost.
the riddle goes over and over in an everlasting cycle.
I usually like puzzles but this has been one that i can't solve, to date not to date. To date fur or not to date fur, where is the stable point that i need be at? Or is chaos the point where i should stay?
And when i do get into a relationship i try to make the other as happy as possible, i never complain if they do something i don't like, and i forgive them for everything. But, even that can be a very bad thing, cause then only more problem arise from it. I need to be more direct and open to things that others do, but i hate making others sad or making them hate me...
To life there is never an easy way to things, but i guess that's why it's life.
It wasn't the wrong decision for us to break up, but it was still sad. I'm good now, though, because you're still my friend. I dunno if I should say this, but right now I feel like I should say it- we've had our shot, and unfortunately it didn't work, which means we won't have another shot. You'll always be my friend, though, if you still want to.
I really hope you find someone you can be honest and open with that doesn't make you feel bad about things. You deserve to not have to worry about making him mad or upset all the time so that you can have the love you seek.
*hugs tight*