so i have some bad and good news for everyone. lately i was dealing with some serious deppression and i dont know if i feel like explaining why the only thing i will say is that i was afraid of turning into something i dont want to be. a monster. you see im afraid because i have a temper when somone bugs me enough and it could be for no damne reason at all. i wanted to just lock my self up lose all contact with everyone i know becuse im afraid that im goin to hurt them. and so it kicked i was hideing behind a smile trying to look happy and to not show a hint of sadness but i couldnt take it anymore i just wanted to end it. but a good freind of mine i talked to who i dont want to name becuase of how special they are to me im sorrry but you do know who you are. he told me that accidents happen that unintentional things like what i did will happen but its the careing and factor that i would do anything i know that would disprove my theory of being a monster. they showed me that all the things i do that are good outweighs evrything that was bad and im happy for that because i was at a brink. so now i know how terrible the world can be. i know the pain it can cause. i felt like giveing up more than eve. but now i see that every day is a struggle no matter what and i know that when it pushes you you take that sword raise your shield and you fight back you keep pushing back and never back down and you keep the ones you care about close to ya because they fight right there beside you no matter what they raise that sheild with you to block the damage that has been done and they wrap there wings around you like the guardian angles they are. no one is ever alone, is truly broken there just ready for that one person to come along and help them get back up because no matter what\at the end of that long and treacherous road there is the beutiful purpose. you and who you are and what you do can never be taken away from you because the heart you have is the one thing no one can take from you not even if they are the cruelist being possible and nothing will block your path. no matter what somone will always stand up with you and that is what i have is those who would and i will give anything to do the same for them no matter what my sword my sheild my armour all of it is ready to not see myself as that beast i see myself anymore but my freind taught me that i am not someone who hurts but will do everything i can to heal and i like my freind will always be ready to be there for them.

end of msg and remember how much you are worth to those who love you and care for you and to never ever back down (bows) -.=.-