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My tail is on fire...
10 years ago
General
So yeah, There are some goings on lately. I am on fire all of a sudden - though it's in a good way.
For those that know me and have actually met me, y'all know that I'm not the fittest person on the planet. In fact, I'll bet a lot of people have a hard time believing that I was in the military (I am notably overweight). But I wasn't always such a big guy - once upon a time I was actually fit and trim. That was in my early 20's, right before I joined the Navy. But I want to go back a little further, and share something kinda special for a minute.
Back in my teens, I was a lonely, kinda depressed introvert. I was also kinda chubby - always was from a very young age. That said, I've always been pretty strong too, which I like. But back when I was around 20 (I don't remember the exact year anymore), I happened across this weird thing on the internet - and it changed me. This weird thing was the fandom itself. I was just browsing around for fun, and happened across a few pics that intrigued me - I had always thought about and loved were's and other creatures of that type (basic furries - though before that point I didn't even know it was a Thing), and these pics triggered something in me.
That night, I had a particularly vivid dream, and in that dream I got introduced to myself - I only then learned that I was a Fox. The next day I had a moment of clarity, and everything that had previously been confusing to me about myself just clicked into place. It was then that I decided that since I couldn't be my actual self (Fox), I'd be as close as I could with what I have. So I looked at myself in the mirror (at the time I was huge - I had a job as a security guard in a casino with free access to the high dollar buffet - I had gained like 50 pounds in the 6 months prior) and said "Fine, I'm fat. But if I can't do anything about that, at least I'm gonna be strong". This background is important, so bear with me if you're still here.
So I started working out. I would come home from work, and every other night I would work till muscle failure with basic isometric exercises. To shorten up the story a bit, without intending to, I ended up losing about 100 lbs over the next 8 months, and wound up 185 lbs of pure muscle - just like my inner Fox. What happened I describe as "becoming myself" - my whole attitude changed after that dream. My appetite went way down, I started actually wanting water and healthy food, and I found myself loving those workouts - I was healthy when I really 'felt my Fox'.
This is the big thing - I have done what many want to - I went from fat to healthy without struggle. In a moment of clarity, I had my whole outlook and attitude change, and then the physical changes just happened naturally as a result. This is important, as I will get to now.
While I was once healthy, the Navy broke me in several ways - the worst of which was my inability to cope effectively with the mental stress. I ended up basically knocking my inner Fox out and stuffing him in a box - my rage was terrible and nearly uncontrollable. My inner Fox doesn't hate, and the Navy taught me to Hate. So he went away, and I lost the good that I had, and went back to a depressed fatbody lifestyle. Guess what happened?? I gained weight, yes. I've been struggling with my weight for 10 years now...10 long and shameful years. But then, a strange thing happened...
On my recent birthday passed, I had another dream. A Dream, similar to that one I had so many years ago now - a hyper vivid memory of a dream. My inner Fox woke up, and he smacked me upside the head pretty hard. He's pissed that I let myself get broken like that, and he's not gonna settle for it. He re-merged with me - in my day to day life, just like before. I find my tail is on fire again - in only one night I have the most creative energy I've had in well over a decade. I find myself actually enjoying the feeling of an empty stomach - lately I've only been eating every other day or so. But I do eat when I'm hungry - and I eat what I want. Which lately has been healthier than usual for me (nothing processed has been consumed since my birthday - and I feel great for it). I've still got a half bottle of Mt. Dew sitting in my cooler - I'll eventually get around to drinking it (I think). Though it's aver 2 weeks old now...so maybe not. But all I want is water now, when previously water was something I showered in, and that was it. Now it's all I consume, because it's all I want. I've had several steaks since my Bday, because whole meat is the only thing I really seem hungry for (lots of salt needed though - I obviously haven't been taking enough in). The veggies when they happen are awesome, and I still love me a nicely loaded baked potato...
I'm not really working out yet (though I want to) - I need to set up a few things so I can do so effectively in my truck, but more importantly so I can clean up afterward - being sticky after a workout isn't fun, and showers can be a trying thing to get in this job. But I'll deal with it somehow, and soon - I've been craving the feeling of destroyed muscles like I used to - I let myself get weak. That will change. But as for right now, I've been given the greatest birthday present ever - someone set my tail on fire again.
If you could on;y see my smile right now...
K Fox (soon to be my proper Foxy self again...)
For those that know me and have actually met me, y'all know that I'm not the fittest person on the planet. In fact, I'll bet a lot of people have a hard time believing that I was in the military (I am notably overweight). But I wasn't always such a big guy - once upon a time I was actually fit and trim. That was in my early 20's, right before I joined the Navy. But I want to go back a little further, and share something kinda special for a minute.
Back in my teens, I was a lonely, kinda depressed introvert. I was also kinda chubby - always was from a very young age. That said, I've always been pretty strong too, which I like. But back when I was around 20 (I don't remember the exact year anymore), I happened across this weird thing on the internet - and it changed me. This weird thing was the fandom itself. I was just browsing around for fun, and happened across a few pics that intrigued me - I had always thought about and loved were's and other creatures of that type (basic furries - though before that point I didn't even know it was a Thing), and these pics triggered something in me.
That night, I had a particularly vivid dream, and in that dream I got introduced to myself - I only then learned that I was a Fox. The next day I had a moment of clarity, and everything that had previously been confusing to me about myself just clicked into place. It was then that I decided that since I couldn't be my actual self (Fox), I'd be as close as I could with what I have. So I looked at myself in the mirror (at the time I was huge - I had a job as a security guard in a casino with free access to the high dollar buffet - I had gained like 50 pounds in the 6 months prior) and said "Fine, I'm fat. But if I can't do anything about that, at least I'm gonna be strong". This background is important, so bear with me if you're still here.
So I started working out. I would come home from work, and every other night I would work till muscle failure with basic isometric exercises. To shorten up the story a bit, without intending to, I ended up losing about 100 lbs over the next 8 months, and wound up 185 lbs of pure muscle - just like my inner Fox. What happened I describe as "becoming myself" - my whole attitude changed after that dream. My appetite went way down, I started actually wanting water and healthy food, and I found myself loving those workouts - I was healthy when I really 'felt my Fox'.
This is the big thing - I have done what many want to - I went from fat to healthy without struggle. In a moment of clarity, I had my whole outlook and attitude change, and then the physical changes just happened naturally as a result. This is important, as I will get to now.
While I was once healthy, the Navy broke me in several ways - the worst of which was my inability to cope effectively with the mental stress. I ended up basically knocking my inner Fox out and stuffing him in a box - my rage was terrible and nearly uncontrollable. My inner Fox doesn't hate, and the Navy taught me to Hate. So he went away, and I lost the good that I had, and went back to a depressed fatbody lifestyle. Guess what happened?? I gained weight, yes. I've been struggling with my weight for 10 years now...10 long and shameful years. But then, a strange thing happened...
On my recent birthday passed, I had another dream. A Dream, similar to that one I had so many years ago now - a hyper vivid memory of a dream. My inner Fox woke up, and he smacked me upside the head pretty hard. He's pissed that I let myself get broken like that, and he's not gonna settle for it. He re-merged with me - in my day to day life, just like before. I find my tail is on fire again - in only one night I have the most creative energy I've had in well over a decade. I find myself actually enjoying the feeling of an empty stomach - lately I've only been eating every other day or so. But I do eat when I'm hungry - and I eat what I want. Which lately has been healthier than usual for me (nothing processed has been consumed since my birthday - and I feel great for it). I've still got a half bottle of Mt. Dew sitting in my cooler - I'll eventually get around to drinking it (I think). Though it's aver 2 weeks old now...so maybe not. But all I want is water now, when previously water was something I showered in, and that was it. Now it's all I consume, because it's all I want. I've had several steaks since my Bday, because whole meat is the only thing I really seem hungry for (lots of salt needed though - I obviously haven't been taking enough in). The veggies when they happen are awesome, and I still love me a nicely loaded baked potato...
I'm not really working out yet (though I want to) - I need to set up a few things so I can do so effectively in my truck, but more importantly so I can clean up afterward - being sticky after a workout isn't fun, and showers can be a trying thing to get in this job. But I'll deal with it somehow, and soon - I've been craving the feeling of destroyed muscles like I used to - I let myself get weak. That will change. But as for right now, I've been given the greatest birthday present ever - someone set my tail on fire again.
If you could on;y see my smile right now...
K Fox (soon to be my proper Foxy self again...)
