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10 years ago
I can't fucking draw right now and its fucking making me tired and pissed off and I just want to fucking cry
Like I just want to get all this shit over and done with so that it doesn't stare me in the face everyday and I just cant fucking do it for some stupid fucking reason, and I'm tired of people asking how their stuff is because I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to finish it all but then I get these sprouts of not being able to even draw a fucking head or SOMETHING
Im trying my hardest to get all of my commissions done because I don't want them staring at me anymore, I have promising to do work and then when I try nothing comes out because I'm either to stressed out, I'm feeling sick, or I just can't fucking draw for NOT APPARENT REASON
even tho I just fucking finished some designs, Like all of my energy was taken doing those fucking designs and I just want to throw them away now
my 3+ hours of working on them will only amount to fucking under $10 because oh sure people like my stuff but they don't want to pay for whats its worth because its not worth it
which I understand, I don't have much money either, but I hate making designs like this because this always happens. One person bids and then they get something I worked on for more than a couple hours on for only a couple bucks..
No one else bids, ever. Just always 1 person.
I don't know anymore, I just... I hate drawing and doing things anymore.... I really hate it,, it stresses me out so much anymore...
and I don't have the money to refund anyone so that I have less of a pile to work on because the money I get I feed myself with, or get things I really need at that time. Or with doctor bills, I can barely pay those anymore plus my phone bill and meds, and then try living off a certain amount of money for the month because it never fucking lasts. ever
I just... I'm sorry for ranting but I'm so tired of feeling like crap for promising things and then I either can't seem to do them or I break them off or forget them completely...
I can barely keep y thoughts together so I'm sorry if you're actually reading that and it makes no sense.. I'm sorry
Like I just want to get all this shit over and done with so that it doesn't stare me in the face everyday and I just cant fucking do it for some stupid fucking reason, and I'm tired of people asking how their stuff is because I'm trying, I'm trying so hard to finish it all but then I get these sprouts of not being able to even draw a fucking head or SOMETHING
Im trying my hardest to get all of my commissions done because I don't want them staring at me anymore, I have promising to do work and then when I try nothing comes out because I'm either to stressed out, I'm feeling sick, or I just can't fucking draw for NOT APPARENT REASON
even tho I just fucking finished some designs, Like all of my energy was taken doing those fucking designs and I just want to throw them away now
my 3+ hours of working on them will only amount to fucking under $10 because oh sure people like my stuff but they don't want to pay for whats its worth because its not worth it
which I understand, I don't have much money either, but I hate making designs like this because this always happens. One person bids and then they get something I worked on for more than a couple hours on for only a couple bucks..
No one else bids, ever. Just always 1 person.
I don't know anymore, I just... I hate drawing and doing things anymore.... I really hate it,, it stresses me out so much anymore...
and I don't have the money to refund anyone so that I have less of a pile to work on because the money I get I feed myself with, or get things I really need at that time. Or with doctor bills, I can barely pay those anymore plus my phone bill and meds, and then try living off a certain amount of money for the month because it never fucking lasts. ever
I just... I'm sorry for ranting but I'm so tired of feeling like crap for promising things and then I either can't seem to do them or I break them off or forget them completely...
I can barely keep y thoughts together so I'm sorry if you're actually reading that and it makes no sense.. I'm sorry
Filou
~filou
this feeling, Im dealing with a huge art block right now, its terrible. apparently a lot of artists are
