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update 10/3
10 years ago
General
sooo ive still been doing uber bc times are kinda tough for me and my gf but im hoping that in a week or so things will be sorta back to normal
currently - like i said in the last journal - im taking on more than commissions that have equal priority (patreon and a personal project that means a lot to me) so its not as if ALL im doing is uber but its what im putting the most time into due to financial struggles
right now were trying to figure out the best option car-wise
the $3200 quote my mom gave me to buy this car off her is $1000 more than its actually worth according to kbb
and since its october already i have to make a decision before the 15th whether to keep the car and buy it off of her (maybe attempt to pay the actual price and not over) or give it back and buy a new car some time in the future
but if i choose the latter ill have no car therefor no way to work besides commissions and patreon and it also means not providing a ride to and from work for my gf
and i fear itll put me back in the place that i was when i first got kicked out and ill end up feeling more useless than i already do
ive tried explaining this to friends and family but no one seems to understand that having a car is about the only thing i am good for in my eyes
w/o a car i have no "real job" and w/o a car im not reliable or even feel as tho im the tiniest bit functional or worthy of calling myself an adult regardless of my age
so ppl view not having a car as a slight inconvenience but for me its all i have and im honestly scared to lose this only redeeming quality (in my eyes) of myself
its just making me incredibly stressed and i think ive been feeling sick again bc of all of this and its the reason why i have so many sleepless nights or nights where i feel hopeless and like nothing is going to improve
having to focus solely on uber is killing me emotionally and physically
and i know that maybe ppl think uber isnt a hard job but trust me it rly gets to u after a while if all u do all day is either draw or drive
essentially im stuck inside all day and all night and it hasnt been great
believe me when i say that if i could live off of commission and patreon money i would but im just not there yet
currently - like i said in the last journal - im taking on more than commissions that have equal priority (patreon and a personal project that means a lot to me) so its not as if ALL im doing is uber but its what im putting the most time into due to financial struggles
right now were trying to figure out the best option car-wise
the $3200 quote my mom gave me to buy this car off her is $1000 more than its actually worth according to kbb
and since its october already i have to make a decision before the 15th whether to keep the car and buy it off of her (maybe attempt to pay the actual price and not over) or give it back and buy a new car some time in the future
but if i choose the latter ill have no car therefor no way to work besides commissions and patreon and it also means not providing a ride to and from work for my gf
and i fear itll put me back in the place that i was when i first got kicked out and ill end up feeling more useless than i already do
ive tried explaining this to friends and family but no one seems to understand that having a car is about the only thing i am good for in my eyes
w/o a car i have no "real job" and w/o a car im not reliable or even feel as tho im the tiniest bit functional or worthy of calling myself an adult regardless of my age
so ppl view not having a car as a slight inconvenience but for me its all i have and im honestly scared to lose this only redeeming quality (in my eyes) of myself
its just making me incredibly stressed and i think ive been feeling sick again bc of all of this and its the reason why i have so many sleepless nights or nights where i feel hopeless and like nothing is going to improve
having to focus solely on uber is killing me emotionally and physically
and i know that maybe ppl think uber isnt a hard job but trust me it rly gets to u after a while if all u do all day is either draw or drive
essentially im stuck inside all day and all night and it hasnt been great
believe me when i say that if i could live off of commission and patreon money i would but im just not there yet
