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Life Update
10 years ago
Hey guys I feel like I should update you about what is going on with me currently. Cause I love you guys and I know you all care. Which makes me ever so happy know. So I recently had an extremely bad panic attack due to recent stress that hit me in the course of a day.
So to start things off. Cody had to be let go from his job. This wasn't his fault at all. The shop wasn't making enough money fast enough so the owner had to close down. So now Cody is without again. Though I know he has wonderful luck finding work we all just sort of hope its sooner than later. Since the last time he was without a job he was unemployed for almost 3 months. Which again isn't his fault from lack of trying. Its a huge Reason why I HATE CALIFORNIA! There are a shit ton of part time jobs out there but only a very tiny tiny handful of full time work and Cody NEES fulltime work. It wasn't just him who had thise trouble A friend of mine went almost 9 months without being able to find fulltime work because of how bad the job market is in our area.
This was extremely stressful because we we only a couple hundred dollars away from our house budget SO we could have given my mom the money and started packing! So that is just one thing.
now on to the second one. My Grandfather came out to visit. NOW as a few of you should know I am not very close to my family. My personal family ( the one that I have blood with) Is very small and very fucked up. we have less than 10 people in it and only 4 of them I love because they are my mom,dad, and brothers. The rest Just use us for money and come up with reasons and bs.
Now I love my mother to death but she has very VERY deep seeded daddy issues. I know this sounds harsh because she is my mother but It stems from him not being around in her childhood. This man my Grandfather ( And only Grandfather since my father never knew his dad) Found a new women left my mom and her family to start up his own. Because of this My Grandmother ( my mom's mom) Made my mother WORK since she was 13 to support the family when they had to move from NJ to California. Because that is just how stuff worked BACK THEN I GUESS!? ( and people wonder why I hate my family outside of those 4) My grand father who HAD money refused to give it to any of them until they moved out here AND even then they would only see him ONE FUCKING DAY A YEAR!
I'm not joking My WHOLE childhood growing up with my "Grandfather" Was his flying out to LA and taking us to some fancy dinner ONE DAY A YEAR....It was so bad that even my brothers and I would GET THE SAME BIRTHDAY CARD EVERY YEAR FOR THE SAME AMOUNT ON THE CHECK! No really all of us are just like. " Oh yup there is that " WOW" birthday card from grandpa. Cause that is all the card ever said"
And It really wasn't until recently that we found out HE WOULD BE OUT IN CALI FOR OVER 2 weeks! but ya know what he would be doing? Oh visiting his New wives family at the time. So my whole childhood and my brothers we HONESTLY THOUGHT HE WAS ONLY OUT HERE ONE DAY A YEAR!
I'm not blaming his new wife. When I met her for the first time 2 years ago ( They had been married for over 30 ) she seemed nice. She however passed away at the start of this year. So My grandfather decided " HEY I STILL WANNA COME OUT FOR 2 WEEKS AND SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS MY FAMILY!!!"
So because of this my mother snapped in a sense. She super cleaned the house. Has all these things planned that we HAVE to do ( cause we live in her house OuO; ) when we don't have THAT much money PLUS cody just lost his JOB! But nope we have no choice we have to do these things. But its also gotten to the point where my mom even Super sealed the upstairs bathroom AND stole the seat and shower curtain so we couldn't use it until my grandfather did 8/.
SOOOOOOOOO He just showed up yesterday and today has already been extremly stressful and I'm not looking forward to the next 2 weeks OuO; WHICH REALLY SUCKS CAUSE THIS IS MY FAV TIME OF THE FUCKING YEAR AND I CAN'T EVEN FULLY ENJOY IT!!!!!!
So again I am sorry Trust me my Halloween orders will be done in time before halloween even if that means I have to work at night while everyone is asleep and not bugging me. " He has asked me to PAINT him a picture 3 times since he got here. PAINT not digital not marker but PAINT and my mom keeps telling me I need to get on it Cause he is my only grandfather 8DDDDDD;;;;;;;;;;" So.....ya sorry this got kinda rant ish but I really couldn't think of a way to explain it any better... I love you all and hopefully I can find time to get away and fucking work like I want to.
So to start things off. Cody had to be let go from his job. This wasn't his fault at all. The shop wasn't making enough money fast enough so the owner had to close down. So now Cody is without again. Though I know he has wonderful luck finding work we all just sort of hope its sooner than later. Since the last time he was without a job he was unemployed for almost 3 months. Which again isn't his fault from lack of trying. Its a huge Reason why I HATE CALIFORNIA! There are a shit ton of part time jobs out there but only a very tiny tiny handful of full time work and Cody NEES fulltime work. It wasn't just him who had thise trouble A friend of mine went almost 9 months without being able to find fulltime work because of how bad the job market is in our area.
This was extremely stressful because we we only a couple hundred dollars away from our house budget SO we could have given my mom the money and started packing! So that is just one thing.
now on to the second one. My Grandfather came out to visit. NOW as a few of you should know I am not very close to my family. My personal family ( the one that I have blood with) Is very small and very fucked up. we have less than 10 people in it and only 4 of them I love because they are my mom,dad, and brothers. The rest Just use us for money and come up with reasons and bs.
Now I love my mother to death but she has very VERY deep seeded daddy issues. I know this sounds harsh because she is my mother but It stems from him not being around in her childhood. This man my Grandfather ( And only Grandfather since my father never knew his dad) Found a new women left my mom and her family to start up his own. Because of this My Grandmother ( my mom's mom) Made my mother WORK since she was 13 to support the family when they had to move from NJ to California. Because that is just how stuff worked BACK THEN I GUESS!? ( and people wonder why I hate my family outside of those 4) My grand father who HAD money refused to give it to any of them until they moved out here AND even then they would only see him ONE FUCKING DAY A YEAR!
I'm not joking My WHOLE childhood growing up with my "Grandfather" Was his flying out to LA and taking us to some fancy dinner ONE DAY A YEAR....It was so bad that even my brothers and I would GET THE SAME BIRTHDAY CARD EVERY YEAR FOR THE SAME AMOUNT ON THE CHECK! No really all of us are just like. " Oh yup there is that " WOW" birthday card from grandpa. Cause that is all the card ever said"
And It really wasn't until recently that we found out HE WOULD BE OUT IN CALI FOR OVER 2 weeks! but ya know what he would be doing? Oh visiting his New wives family at the time. So my whole childhood and my brothers we HONESTLY THOUGHT HE WAS ONLY OUT HERE ONE DAY A YEAR!
I'm not blaming his new wife. When I met her for the first time 2 years ago ( They had been married for over 30 ) she seemed nice. She however passed away at the start of this year. So My grandfather decided " HEY I STILL WANNA COME OUT FOR 2 WEEKS AND SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS MY FAMILY!!!"
So because of this my mother snapped in a sense. She super cleaned the house. Has all these things planned that we HAVE to do ( cause we live in her house OuO; ) when we don't have THAT much money PLUS cody just lost his JOB! But nope we have no choice we have to do these things. But its also gotten to the point where my mom even Super sealed the upstairs bathroom AND stole the seat and shower curtain so we couldn't use it until my grandfather did 8/.
SOOOOOOOOO He just showed up yesterday and today has already been extremly stressful and I'm not looking forward to the next 2 weeks OuO; WHICH REALLY SUCKS CAUSE THIS IS MY FAV TIME OF THE FUCKING YEAR AND I CAN'T EVEN FULLY ENJOY IT!!!!!!
So again I am sorry Trust me my Halloween orders will be done in time before halloween even if that means I have to work at night while everyone is asleep and not bugging me. " He has asked me to PAINT him a picture 3 times since he got here. PAINT not digital not marker but PAINT and my mom keeps telling me I need to get on it Cause he is my only grandfather 8DDDDDD;;;;;;;;;;" So.....ya sorry this got kinda rant ish but I really couldn't think of a way to explain it any better... I love you all and hopefully I can find time to get away and fucking work like I want to.
//sarcasm
But sarcasm aside, I do hope things get better over the next two weeks and it becomes less complicated for you even while he's there.
Lots of hugs for you. ;o; I know dealing with family you don't particularly like can be just plain stressful, so.
Thanks for your good wishes though @-@ I wish my mother understood that. She normally does but like I stated above its like once her dad comes around Its like nothing else matters cause all she wants to do is please him and get his praise.