Shit so I just found out that my boyfriend is apparently spending time at a mental facility due to being unfit to be home. Apparently he had tried to commit suicide 3 times in one day. The thing that breaks my heart is that he didn't even consider talking to me before he did it.

I had just started to feel a little better since I got anti-depressants but now that I heard this I'm right back down in a very dark place again. I just don't know what to do? can I even do anything? Why just why didn't he come and talk to me before he did anything? I clearly remember him telling me to talk to him when I felt suicidal and I promised I would so why wouldn't he talk to me when he felt suicidal? Did I do something wrong? I keep telling him how much he means to me and how much I love him but he doesn't seem to respond anymore when I tell him that? does he hate me? What did I do?

FUCK I just don't know anymore.
I just wish I was dead sometimes