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Just can't seem to think straight
10 years ago
Stress is no fun, but I just can't seem to get it out of my head lately.
It's really been interfering with my focus and getting in the way of my art.
I simply cannot afford to stay where I am much longer, and so I will have to relocate out of necessity in a few months.
It will be a step forward, toward what could very well be an opportunity to secure a roof over my head for good.
I could even have more than one room to myself, which will be a first for me.
But some days all I can think about is how much I don't want to leave the friends I've made.
It's only in the past year or so that I've really been able to get out and connect with more than one or two good friends, locally.
I know I can make more where I go, and I will...
But I've never really had much to leave behind before.
Now I do, and it's very hard to accept that.
It hurts, trying to come to terms with being separated by distance from those I've grown close to.
Little visits, meetings for lunch, seeing a familiar face at a meetup, playing games, and all sorts of adventures together... every little moment I get to spend with my friends is a blessing. It's something special that means the world to me.
Text alone can be so... distant.
I will miss seeing their smiles, and hearing their voices.
I cherish every moment, and I know there will be more.
I know I will stay in touch, and have no intention of losing any of the friends I've made here.
But some days, it's a little too much to try and accept the fact I might not be able to see them again for months, or even years - I don't even like to consider that it could be that long. But until I can afford to travel regularly, that is something I will have to face.
Certainly something to strive towards...
Sometimes it all gets to be a little overwhelming.
I have a lot of work ahead of me.
There is a great deal of my past that I still have to face and deal with, that makes this sort of thing more difficult.
I seek not charity nor pity, I only wish to speak my mind, and vent a bit.
I have all the help I could ask for, simply by my friends existing.
I think we all might need time to cry on occasion.
Sometimes, that time can just last a bit longer for me than I'd like.
It's really been interfering with my focus and getting in the way of my art.
I simply cannot afford to stay where I am much longer, and so I will have to relocate out of necessity in a few months.
It will be a step forward, toward what could very well be an opportunity to secure a roof over my head for good.
I could even have more than one room to myself, which will be a first for me.
But some days all I can think about is how much I don't want to leave the friends I've made.
It's only in the past year or so that I've really been able to get out and connect with more than one or two good friends, locally.
I know I can make more where I go, and I will...
But I've never really had much to leave behind before.
Now I do, and it's very hard to accept that.
It hurts, trying to come to terms with being separated by distance from those I've grown close to.
Little visits, meetings for lunch, seeing a familiar face at a meetup, playing games, and all sorts of adventures together... every little moment I get to spend with my friends is a blessing. It's something special that means the world to me.
Text alone can be so... distant.
I will miss seeing their smiles, and hearing their voices.
I cherish every moment, and I know there will be more.
I know I will stay in touch, and have no intention of losing any of the friends I've made here.
But some days, it's a little too much to try and accept the fact I might not be able to see them again for months, or even years - I don't even like to consider that it could be that long. But until I can afford to travel regularly, that is something I will have to face.
Certainly something to strive towards...
Sometimes it all gets to be a little overwhelming.
I have a lot of work ahead of me.
There is a great deal of my past that I still have to face and deal with, that makes this sort of thing more difficult.
I seek not charity nor pity, I only wish to speak my mind, and vent a bit.
I have all the help I could ask for, simply by my friends existing.
I think we all might need time to cry on occasion.
Sometimes, that time can just last a bit longer for me than I'd like.
It helps when I can say 'see you later' rather than goodbye.
Simply having such friends really makes me happy.