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H-Heart Palpatations? Threats? Maybe it's time to leave..
10 years ago
So. Let's back up a bit..
I started having a funky heart beat about 2 weeks ago. By funky I mean by what's called a 'skipped' beat. Heart beat increases and stabilizes usually around 100 bpm, then I have a 'skip' beat or delayed and a 'thump' in my chest, essentially in that moment of inactivity, once heart pumps again it pumped out a bit more blood than normal. Good news is it's nothing serious, bad news is, it's stress and anxiety driven. I'm sure it's about my latest obsession with my health or lack there of. I've become the product of my poor environment and made poor dietary choices. With moving that will change and I see my self being more active especially with this job of mine as well. Anyway, back on point.
Caffeine, sugar, and sodas are banned from my diet while I figure out if this might be a serious thing or not. While dealing with this news today I received a threat from a commissioner to ban me. Many of you know I never give dead lines because my life is hectic and my art is inspiration based. This is why I'm thinking I'm going to give up commissions just because of people like this. No one is ever truly understanding of my life, no one really cares. They just want my art, and I'd best give it to them in my free time, what little there is, and if any art comes out between then and now, I must be fucking off and negligent.
When I have an idea I put it down, and continue to work on it. That's the gist of it. If I don't get it down it's gone forever and I miss an opportunity at improvement and expression. To anyone else this may seem selfish and based on my experience on this website, I feel that's the majority. I can honestly say I've never felt welcomed, never felt like I was a part of a community, and never really belonged. To be honest I probably won't leave but my commissions will most likely stop.
I've started a new job, me and my boyfriend are moving in with some great friends of ours, my life is making a very important turn and all anyone can think about is, "Shut up and give me my art you sow."
This is why artists leave.
I've got a lot to think about and honestly, my heart is saying this isn't good for my health anymore. I'd like to take a moment to thank those few supporters though, truly you made me smile at my worst and made me press on when down. Can't thank you enough.
Thanks for listening...
I started having a funky heart beat about 2 weeks ago. By funky I mean by what's called a 'skipped' beat. Heart beat increases and stabilizes usually around 100 bpm, then I have a 'skip' beat or delayed and a 'thump' in my chest, essentially in that moment of inactivity, once heart pumps again it pumped out a bit more blood than normal. Good news is it's nothing serious, bad news is, it's stress and anxiety driven. I'm sure it's about my latest obsession with my health or lack there of. I've become the product of my poor environment and made poor dietary choices. With moving that will change and I see my self being more active especially with this job of mine as well. Anyway, back on point.
Caffeine, sugar, and sodas are banned from my diet while I figure out if this might be a serious thing or not. While dealing with this news today I received a threat from a commissioner to ban me. Many of you know I never give dead lines because my life is hectic and my art is inspiration based. This is why I'm thinking I'm going to give up commissions just because of people like this. No one is ever truly understanding of my life, no one really cares. They just want my art, and I'd best give it to them in my free time, what little there is, and if any art comes out between then and now, I must be fucking off and negligent.
When I have an idea I put it down, and continue to work on it. That's the gist of it. If I don't get it down it's gone forever and I miss an opportunity at improvement and expression. To anyone else this may seem selfish and based on my experience on this website, I feel that's the majority. I can honestly say I've never felt welcomed, never felt like I was a part of a community, and never really belonged. To be honest I probably won't leave but my commissions will most likely stop.
I've started a new job, me and my boyfriend are moving in with some great friends of ours, my life is making a very important turn and all anyone can think about is, "Shut up and give me my art you sow."
This is why artists leave.
I've got a lot to think about and honestly, my heart is saying this isn't good for my health anymore. I'd like to take a moment to thank those few supporters though, truly you made me smile at my worst and made me press on when down. Can't thank you enough.
Thanks for listening...
im hope you and all things for you get and feel better.
You could probably get it checked out by a doctor, but if you have problems with anxiety it might just be one of the symptoms. :)
And don't feel like you have to leave or stop doing commissions just because of some twatwaffle giving you a hard time, they are just unhappy with their lives and have nothing better to do than to say hurtful things. They can just go suck on a cactus. :(
I hope for the best for you. -hugs-
Quit commissions.
Do both even.
Whatever it takes to feel/get better. Palpatations can be a serious thing and I hope yers isn't. (I've cut back on my Caffeine as well, sugar.. well, I'm trying and failing.)
I say this because both my dad and at least two of my friends have had those.
I don't eat the healthiest, so I cut back on Caffeine mostly.
As for threats by commissioners. MEH TO THEM.
Artists get stuff done when they get stuff done. I still have art I've been waiting for years for, and I'm still on good terms with those same artists.
They have lives, and so do you.