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ScotiaCon 2015: Friday
10 years ago
General
Well, we're here. Seven hours of driving and Doran, Zelandeth, and I arrived in Livingston, Scotland for the start of ScotiaCon 2015.
One day in, I can say that I'm not sure I belong here, but I'm working on it.
A little background: I try not to adhere to labels too much but I'm probably closest to what would be described as an Otherkin dragon, having started to figure myself out through some "interesting" times back in the mid-90s. I only discovered the furry community a few years later and have basically been hanging around the fringes of the community for twenty years, never really managing to really feel a part of it. Now, with the confidence afforded by two of my mates coming with me, I've finally made it to my first furry convention at the age of 35.
Now, it's worth mentioning that I've been to conventions before, just not furry ones, and I've always found it exceedingly difficult to feel like a real part of a community, when what I really want is just that; to feel like a part of something. Regardless, save for various advice offered by more experienced friends, I've tried to approach this with an open mind and few preconceptions.
So what have we done so far?
After checking in, we registered ourselves and got our badges and goodie bags. The badges are really nice, actually, like little credit card things. We examined the timetable and decided what we wanted to do. FIrst up was the opening ceremony, the 'my first con' meeting, and then failsuiting, which was best described by Zelandeth as Scraphead Challenge for fursuits - we basically were given a pile of materials, split into two teams, and told to dress one of our team in a hastily constructed fursuit, held together with duct tape and hope. We worked with three other furs and ultimately lost, but we put a good effort in. I made a pipboy 4000 out of paper and a plastic box!
Next up was a bit of downtime, so we checked out the dealers' den and I bought a really cute orange dragon figurine and devoted most of my wallet to more model purchases tomorrow. We then had some dinner in the expensiveish hotel restaurant, went to see the 'Meet the Guest of Honour' panel to learn about the fursuit-making GoH, and spent some time in the dance party. I took some time to warm up but with Kurra's voice in my head telling me I had to dance, I finally took the plunge and spent an hour and more flinging myself around like a crazy dragon until they switched to some heavier, dull beat music without much melody, at which point we called it a night. Now I've showered and am here writing this.
Sounds like I've had a lot of fun... so what's wrong?
Well, I *have* had fun. But I very much feel like an alien to this community and I'm struggling with that a bit. People are already in their cliques and it's hard to get to know anyone. Even the people we failsuited with kinda got to the end of the event and then drifted off without even so much as a see you later. I want to make friends, but I really struggle with getting into conversations. It's as if everyone has their friends, and they're here to see them. There's a lot of history.
I had a couple of very brief conversations with folk that didn't go anywhere. Even they felt difficult to instigate, no-one's really come to say hello to us. I poked my head into the gaming lounge to find everyone involved in one game without really being all that inviting for people to come watch or join in, so I floated away. This isn't really a ScotiaCon things in general, I have always struggled in this regard. Sometimes it's like I'm invisible, I wonder if I should embark on a life of crime to try and prove or disprove this.
Also, fursuiters. I really want to hug one, and I actually would really like to have my own suit, because I have always loved the idea of slipping into a different character. But I find them difficult to handle. They are quiet folks, necessarily so I suppose, but when they stand in front of you, staring in your direction, I have no idea what I should be doing, and I feel kinda awkward. I put my hat on one and he just stood there, so I nabbed it back. That was about it.
I would appreciate any advice or insight that any of you might have, but this whole experience is really important to me and I'm going to keep trying regardless. I worry that I've left this too late and I'm destined to fail, but I am going to go out and attend events. All being well I'll take part in the karaoke tomorrow. I'm not a bad singer, hopefully that will go well!
So I've had fun, and I expect to have more, but I just have these nagging doubts and awkwardness. Help?
Azzy
One day in, I can say that I'm not sure I belong here, but I'm working on it.
A little background: I try not to adhere to labels too much but I'm probably closest to what would be described as an Otherkin dragon, having started to figure myself out through some "interesting" times back in the mid-90s. I only discovered the furry community a few years later and have basically been hanging around the fringes of the community for twenty years, never really managing to really feel a part of it. Now, with the confidence afforded by two of my mates coming with me, I've finally made it to my first furry convention at the age of 35.
Now, it's worth mentioning that I've been to conventions before, just not furry ones, and I've always found it exceedingly difficult to feel like a real part of a community, when what I really want is just that; to feel like a part of something. Regardless, save for various advice offered by more experienced friends, I've tried to approach this with an open mind and few preconceptions.
So what have we done so far?
After checking in, we registered ourselves and got our badges and goodie bags. The badges are really nice, actually, like little credit card things. We examined the timetable and decided what we wanted to do. FIrst up was the opening ceremony, the 'my first con' meeting, and then failsuiting, which was best described by Zelandeth as Scraphead Challenge for fursuits - we basically were given a pile of materials, split into two teams, and told to dress one of our team in a hastily constructed fursuit, held together with duct tape and hope. We worked with three other furs and ultimately lost, but we put a good effort in. I made a pipboy 4000 out of paper and a plastic box!
Next up was a bit of downtime, so we checked out the dealers' den and I bought a really cute orange dragon figurine and devoted most of my wallet to more model purchases tomorrow. We then had some dinner in the expensiveish hotel restaurant, went to see the 'Meet the Guest of Honour' panel to learn about the fursuit-making GoH, and spent some time in the dance party. I took some time to warm up but with Kurra's voice in my head telling me I had to dance, I finally took the plunge and spent an hour and more flinging myself around like a crazy dragon until they switched to some heavier, dull beat music without much melody, at which point we called it a night. Now I've showered and am here writing this.
Sounds like I've had a lot of fun... so what's wrong?
Well, I *have* had fun. But I very much feel like an alien to this community and I'm struggling with that a bit. People are already in their cliques and it's hard to get to know anyone. Even the people we failsuited with kinda got to the end of the event and then drifted off without even so much as a see you later. I want to make friends, but I really struggle with getting into conversations. It's as if everyone has their friends, and they're here to see them. There's a lot of history.
I had a couple of very brief conversations with folk that didn't go anywhere. Even they felt difficult to instigate, no-one's really come to say hello to us. I poked my head into the gaming lounge to find everyone involved in one game without really being all that inviting for people to come watch or join in, so I floated away. This isn't really a ScotiaCon things in general, I have always struggled in this regard. Sometimes it's like I'm invisible, I wonder if I should embark on a life of crime to try and prove or disprove this.
Also, fursuiters. I really want to hug one, and I actually would really like to have my own suit, because I have always loved the idea of slipping into a different character. But I find them difficult to handle. They are quiet folks, necessarily so I suppose, but when they stand in front of you, staring in your direction, I have no idea what I should be doing, and I feel kinda awkward. I put my hat on one and he just stood there, so I nabbed it back. That was about it.
I would appreciate any advice or insight that any of you might have, but this whole experience is really important to me and I'm going to keep trying regardless. I worry that I've left this too late and I'm destined to fail, but I am going to go out and attend events. All being well I'll take part in the karaoke tomorrow. I'm not a bad singer, hopefully that will go well!
So I've had fun, and I expect to have more, but I just have these nagging doubts and awkwardness. Help?
Azzy
What I can say is that you ought to attend more panels, continue to get involved with those.
If you see a fursuiter, especially one that looks to be putting effort into being cute, and if they look your way, smile, spread your arms, and see if they wanna give you a hug! Fursuiters in general are more open to huggies.
Try to relax, and leave feelings and worries of isolation for tomorrow.
Hey, you're all right. Cons aren't for everybody, and I still think this con is for you. I'm silly and HOMC YEAH ALPHA STRIKE DO IT ALL THE WAY because I started kinda early in my life with cons, and I came to it with a kid's point of view maybe, ALL FUN ALL THE TIME. XD However in many cons I've seen the people that come chill, the ones that enjoy just being in the same volume as everyone else who gets wild. And there are the people (some I know here) who you think are having a terrible time, but they're not-- they're happy, just don't show it, and only like to watch. And then there are the people who meet at cons to talk about work while they're taking a vacation from work :p The point is, there's many levels of involvement for any con.
How big is Scotiacon in number of attendees? Once you pass about 2500 it gets very lost-in-a-crowd big. Cliques form, and break and re-form over cons-- in a big con you have to choose who you want to be with unfortunately. So don't feel bad at least partly-- it's not something you're doing or not doing. Loootta people are going away from Anthrocon because it's so huge. Ever since my first con, because I was alone, I had to push myself to be social. To talk, even if I come across silly or awkward. To sit alone at a table and draw, and wait for someone to come join to draw, or watch. Sometimes no one comes. There is a temptation toward discouragement, and i have to resist it and say "I am here at this con out of love and happy, even if no one is going to share that happy with me. The con is my happy place." :> I really wish I could be there just to be company and a buddy to hang out. No one should ever be alone at a con. (unless they want to be! Introverts need alone time to recharge!)
Fursuiters are special and special to handle! Hopefully there's a panel there about 'How to Interact with Fursuiters' or something! They are quiet because that's just kinda a tradition, and like animals most won't talk. Some will peep, squeak, whistle, rawr, or nibble! So they really are like oversize playful animals. That one suiter that you put your hat on, he didn't feel the weight of your hat through his suit likely, so he couldn't know it was there. Remember suiters are mostly blind, and hard of hearing. XDD If you want them to play with you or your hat/props, you hafta get their attention with speaking and a wave often! (Visual AND auditory, and tactile with a tap on their shoulder!) From there you can show them your hat, and lots of suiters will just take off posing and being silly with it. :D (Get a little laser pointer. You will attract ALL the feline fursuiters' attention!) And you can always ask (in a bit louder clearer tone) "Hi, can I hug you/take a photo with you?" And they'll usually be super happy to! Sometimes however, a suiter may be walking by. If he's not stopping, he may be overheated and going to take a break. Handlers, a person guiding a suiter, often will bridge the gap between you two for all these things. Fursuiters
In general for the con: There is way too much fun for you to have, so don't worry if you miss out on it. If you have fun all con long on one thing and miss the rest, don't lament what you missed, prize what you got deep into! :3 I lament sometimes, and always derp afterward. Sorry that this is a lot, but CONS ARE A LOT. @_@; Now go sleep, wake up sore from dancing, and go be AMPED or softly quiet, and enjoy.