This is a message for those who wonders why I've been gone for a while. I'm not writing this for sympathy I just wanna tel everybody I'm not dead...

I just have to say this out as straight as I possibly can, and it is kinda hard of me to say this...
This summer again I entered a deep depression followed by extreme anxiety this fall... It's not easy to figure out I'm struggling when you see me because I use all my energy to hide it...

I can't really describe why I'm depressed because it's multiple things that would pretty much fill up a huge journal of whining and I'm just not that kind of person.
But to cut it short I have huge anxiety issues when it comes to rejection. When I feel rejected by anyone it triggers me to just close myself into a hollow shell and I don't really know what to do or how to react, and this also tends to happen when I over think stuff and think I've been rejected...

I've almost stopped going out other than to my therapy, and I don't know why but it also seems like I avoid furmeets... the one thing that makes me happy, wearing fursuit and being on furmeets, just seem to scare me off because I'm too affraid to be rejected by those I meet, even though I know that most furs wouldn't do that to me...

I just wish I could get the strenght to go out again soon and meet people, but right now it feels like a distant dream, and I hope none of you stop talking to me just because I've become a little distant...

That's all I wanted to say and I hope everyone is doing better than I do