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Star Wars skit
10 years ago
We watched the wholes series (sans ep 1) in one say this past saturday, and I felt motivated to write a little skit to perform in the middle. Kind of like Mystery Science Theater 300 does, y'know? :)
The skit is a conversation between other delagates/senators set after Jar Jar calls for the vote of no confidence.
Anyways, here it is. Thanks for Bauson, EJ, Bosgo, Sammy and Corby for performing it live for us with no rehearsal! :)
Warren7, who is badgerlike: (peevish, exacting voice) I’d like to call this meeting to order. Since the levitation lecterns are offline, we have to use this old meeting room, and I’m sorry about the damp conditions, but at least the Mon Calimari delagates have loaned us a sheet of waterproofed canvas that we can use to block some of the water dripping from the ceiling.
MonCalimari: (slobbery voice) It’s a tarp!
W7: Thank you, delagate from Mon Calimari. We appreciate your help staying dry…
LutrianReach, who has ottery features: (perky voice) I kind of like the damp!
W7: ...most of us appreicate your help staying dry, and…
LR: I was actually hoping there would be a water slide back here.
W7: There is no water slide in the Imperial Senate, delegate.
LR: But there COULD be!
W7: Yes, you proposed that last session. We spent a month on it before voting it down.
VeldtHegemony, who could be a hyena: (slow, deliberate voice) We already have the water here. We could use that canvas thing to rig one.
MC: (irritated) It’s a TARP!
VH: The tarp, right, We could pin the corners up there and there…
W7: *irritaed* We voted it down because the Salt Moths from Ibbid considered the inclusion of any sort of water feature to public spaces to be culturally insensitive to hydrophobic species such as themselves.
LR: But...it’d be fun!
W7: ...and an act of war. They were quite clear about that.
LR: (pouts) The salt moths are no fun.
W7: Yes, the month after was spent drafting a censure of them and all other ‘non fun species,’ and then voting THAT down before starting ANOTHER war.
VH: Okay, we won’t do that, then. So why are we meeting back in here? Something about lunch plans?
W7: No, this is a special session to discuss the Gungan delegate’s recent motions.
VH: *confused* But….you said that something deliciously stinky was back here.
W7: *sigh* No, I said there was something fishy about the clown delegate’s motion, that it stank of Sith influence, and that I wanted to discuss our coalition’s response to it before we voted.
VH: You’re using lots of food words again and it makes it hard to follow.
LR: *excited* If we’re talking fish, I vote for sushi! *holds up hand* All in favor?
W7: *irritated* We are NOT planning lunch, we’re talking about the Gungans. We haven’t even got coffee yet.
BothanIntern: *tremelous, voung voice* I have your drinks, sirs...please take them, this tray is very heavy..
LR: Oooh, coffee! Okay, sushi AFTER coffee. Thank you intern!
BI: *tragic voice* Many Bothans were scalded carrying the coffee here…
VH: Why are we back here again?
W7: *sighs* Because I suspect Sith influence, and I wanted to discuss the Gungan ‘No Confidence’ vote in private before we cast our votes. The Colation of Magellan Soverign States Not Including Vermich 5 may be the smallest of the voting blocs in the imperial senate, but we have a solid record of voting together, and anyone that wants our three tenths of a percent of the Senate’s voting power will be subject to our scruitiny!
LR: *claps* You do that SO well!
VH: I think it’s a good idea to take time scrutinizing.
W7: *momentarily hopeful* Well...good! That’s what we’re here for!
LR: Yes! And I’ve planned ahead for this scruitiny, we can do it at lunch. The Bothan intern got us a reservation! For sushi~~!
W7: No, we have to discuss this NOW, there’s a recess but the Gungan vote is up right now…
LR: No, we’re okay! I told the Intern to push the vote buttons for us. I told him to push the ‘yes’ button because sushi puts me in a good mood!
VH: I like sushi!
--- scene ends---
---empire falls---
The skit is a conversation between other delagates/senators set after Jar Jar calls for the vote of no confidence.
Anyways, here it is. Thanks for Bauson, EJ, Bosgo, Sammy and Corby for performing it live for us with no rehearsal! :)
Warren7, who is badgerlike: (peevish, exacting voice) I’d like to call this meeting to order. Since the levitation lecterns are offline, we have to use this old meeting room, and I’m sorry about the damp conditions, but at least the Mon Calimari delagates have loaned us a sheet of waterproofed canvas that we can use to block some of the water dripping from the ceiling.
MonCalimari: (slobbery voice) It’s a tarp!
W7: Thank you, delagate from Mon Calimari. We appreciate your help staying dry…
LutrianReach, who has ottery features: (perky voice) I kind of like the damp!
W7: ...most of us appreicate your help staying dry, and…
LR: I was actually hoping there would be a water slide back here.
W7: There is no water slide in the Imperial Senate, delegate.
LR: But there COULD be!
W7: Yes, you proposed that last session. We spent a month on it before voting it down.
VeldtHegemony, who could be a hyena: (slow, deliberate voice) We already have the water here. We could use that canvas thing to rig one.
MC: (irritated) It’s a TARP!
VH: The tarp, right, We could pin the corners up there and there…
W7: *irritaed* We voted it down because the Salt Moths from Ibbid considered the inclusion of any sort of water feature to public spaces to be culturally insensitive to hydrophobic species such as themselves.
LR: But...it’d be fun!
W7: ...and an act of war. They were quite clear about that.
LR: (pouts) The salt moths are no fun.
W7: Yes, the month after was spent drafting a censure of them and all other ‘non fun species,’ and then voting THAT down before starting ANOTHER war.
VH: Okay, we won’t do that, then. So why are we meeting back in here? Something about lunch plans?
W7: No, this is a special session to discuss the Gungan delegate’s recent motions.
VH: *confused* But….you said that something deliciously stinky was back here.
W7: *sigh* No, I said there was something fishy about the clown delegate’s motion, that it stank of Sith influence, and that I wanted to discuss our coalition’s response to it before we voted.
VH: You’re using lots of food words again and it makes it hard to follow.
LR: *excited* If we’re talking fish, I vote for sushi! *holds up hand* All in favor?
W7: *irritated* We are NOT planning lunch, we’re talking about the Gungans. We haven’t even got coffee yet.
BothanIntern: *tremelous, voung voice* I have your drinks, sirs...please take them, this tray is very heavy..
LR: Oooh, coffee! Okay, sushi AFTER coffee. Thank you intern!
BI: *tragic voice* Many Bothans were scalded carrying the coffee here…
VH: Why are we back here again?
W7: *sighs* Because I suspect Sith influence, and I wanted to discuss the Gungan ‘No Confidence’ vote in private before we cast our votes. The Colation of Magellan Soverign States Not Including Vermich 5 may be the smallest of the voting blocs in the imperial senate, but we have a solid record of voting together, and anyone that wants our three tenths of a percent of the Senate’s voting power will be subject to our scruitiny!
LR: *claps* You do that SO well!
VH: I think it’s a good idea to take time scrutinizing.
W7: *momentarily hopeful* Well...good! That’s what we’re here for!
LR: Yes! And I’ve planned ahead for this scruitiny, we can do it at lunch. The Bothan intern got us a reservation! For sushi~~!
W7: No, we have to discuss this NOW, there’s a recess but the Gungan vote is up right now…
LR: No, we’re okay! I told the Intern to push the vote buttons for us. I told him to push the ‘yes’ button because sushi puts me in a good mood!
VH: I like sushi!
--- scene ends---
---empire falls---
