I should be used to this by now...
16 years ago
I should be used to having everything I love and cherish torn from me. It has been happening all my life.
When I enjoyed drawing, my parents took that away from me. They wouldn't allow it. When I discovered I wanted to write.. my parents took that away from me. Didn't allow it. My childhood consisted of being forced to read the bible and having religion shoved violently down my throat. When I moved to San Diego, I had to leave my dog behind.
My best friend, Ashley, moved away. Another best friend betrayed me. I had to move away from yet another best friend, Marie. My own grandmother treated me like shot on Christmas eve. I had to leave my dad behind, and he's always in jail anyway.
Now, I finally get a boyfriend.. a good one. His dumbass roommate won't let me come over to his house so can't even see him much at all.
I get a cat.. which I have wanted all my life.
And he almost dies and has to go back to the shelter to even survive. And even then he may be too suck to live.. he may have to be euthanize.
Why does this have to happen to me? EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING I love. EVERYTHING I enjoy. It is always torn away from me! What ever did I do to deserve this? What does Karma have against me?
Sometimes I wish that I could just.. get rid of all feeling, and not have to go through the constant pain of this dull, dreary, horrible life I lead. What next? I'm almost willing to bet cash that Jeremy is going to die or something horrible.
When I enjoyed drawing, my parents took that away from me. They wouldn't allow it. When I discovered I wanted to write.. my parents took that away from me. Didn't allow it. My childhood consisted of being forced to read the bible and having religion shoved violently down my throat. When I moved to San Diego, I had to leave my dog behind.
My best friend, Ashley, moved away. Another best friend betrayed me. I had to move away from yet another best friend, Marie. My own grandmother treated me like shot on Christmas eve. I had to leave my dad behind, and he's always in jail anyway.
Now, I finally get a boyfriend.. a good one. His dumbass roommate won't let me come over to his house so can't even see him much at all.
I get a cat.. which I have wanted all my life.
And he almost dies and has to go back to the shelter to even survive. And even then he may be too suck to live.. he may have to be euthanize.
Why does this have to happen to me? EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING I love. EVERYTHING I enjoy. It is always torn away from me! What ever did I do to deserve this? What does Karma have against me?
Sometimes I wish that I could just.. get rid of all feeling, and not have to go through the constant pain of this dull, dreary, horrible life I lead. What next? I'm almost willing to bet cash that Jeremy is going to die or something horrible.
FA+

I want to try to feel better, and it's helping a little.. I just know if something else happens I will snap.
The only think keeping me from despair is that he will be cured (Hopefully) and sent to a new home.. I just hope it's not so bad he has to be euthanized...