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The Heist
10 years ago
This was a mess too
Well, exams are over. So, that's a thing. Let's talk about a game I've been wasting my time with lately. Contrary to what a certain someone thinks I've been wasting time with as of late, I've been playing SteamWorld Heist. It seemed like an interesting game, and it features music from Steam Powered Giraffe, so I was pretty on board. As on board as a weirdo on land can be, at any rate. Guess I could say a thing or two about the game. Not much that's particularly helpful, but it's whatever. What do you really expect from me?
First of all, the game is pretty short. It's a good time waster to play between intervals of whatever else, but due to this fact, I don't know if it's worth the 17 dollars and tax you pay for it. Not to say it's bad, but it's somewhat short. You could play it on the hardest difficulty to force yourself to spend more time on it, but I would not recommend the elite setting to start with. Stuff is intense, and down-right unfair, really. Veteran, as the second hardest difficulty, should be the default for an equally challenging and fun game. That's how I played it anyway, and I wound up getting max stars possible within 23 hours. So, if I can do that in less than a day, Veteran is probably your best bet for balance. Go elite if you're feelin' it, but fuck. Ain't easy. Either way, I suppose I should mention what sort of game it is. The game I have to compare it most to is the Worms franchise. Missions involve a turn for either side, where you can move then shoot before ending your turn. It's not just as simple as that, but that's the easiest way to explain the gameplay. Of course, there is cover, trick-shot capability, and various other variables that make it a different game entirely.
Anyway, the game, price disregarded, is really fun for the time you do get to play it. For pistols, you've got the standard handgun and two varieties of sharpshooters. Handguns are mid-tier power with no aiming sight and mid-range potential, but anyone can use them. Sharpshooters are a special type of weapon used by three characters total. One sharpshooter weapon allows movement and long range aiming (High distance ricochet and laser sight), but typically features minimal power with mid-tier critical boost and no bonuses to critical chance. The other variety can only be shot if you have not moved for that turn. It features high tier damage with generally high tier criticals and a 50% boost to critical chance. Next, you have the assault class, used by three characters total. There are assault rifle types and shotguns. Both feature close range capabilities (Meaning that there is a generally large spread and a low threshold of ricochet potential) and high damage. Assault rifles can score criticals, though are not generally reliable at it, while shotguns have a slightly higher base damage and lack critical chance altogether. Both are good at killing enemies and hitting enemies behind with excess. There are also heavy type weapons, taking the form of grenade launchers, rocket launchers, and a minigun later in the game. The grenade launcher and rocket launcher both can be shot after moving, but deal splash damage which can damage the user and allies. The grenade launcher has a slight laser that will show you where the grenade will fire. Trajectory and bounce are up to you, so take care. Rocket launchers have no aiming sight, but fire straight and explode on impact, making them typically safer for hitting what you want to hit without much remorse, along with dealing a more steady damage than grenade launchers. The minigun can be found towards the end of the game. You can't move before shooting it (Much like the critical sharpshooter), so it's like a heavy duty assault rifle. The last sort of damage you can deal, disregarding side-weapons (Sidearms, grenades, and missiles), is melee damage, which is very useless until much later on. At that point, it becomes one of your strongest points for damage and stun-locking heavier opponents.
Beyond weapon variety, there are character classes. Each character has their own unique abilities, even if they share the same character class. Classes generally tell you what someone is best at though. First up, you have Captain Piper. As the only Captain class, she excels in promoting damage when around allies, and can even heal herself and others once per mission. She is a very obvious choice for any mission that involves team members, being a sharpshooter wielding character as well as promoting damage around others. Next, you have Vanguards. Vanguards deal extra damage after being attacked, and are generally bulky characters. After that, there is the Bounty Hunter class. Only one character is a Bounty Hunter throughout the game, and she is essential for taking out groups of enemies. As the only Bounty Hunter, she excels in high damage output. She has the innate ability to fire again after killing an enemy. She can further boost herself a limited number of times by allowing, for one turn, herself to deal infinite kill shots, provided you kill an enemy every time you fire, and even boost the power of herself and allies in a large area around her. She is one of the squishiest characters though, which is risky when she is in the midst of the fight, also making it harder to take advantage of her increased damage potential when below 50% health. Later classes include Sentries who excel at dealing massive damage while stationary, the Flankers who excel at movement and dealing extra damage behind opponents, and the single Brawler character who deals massive melee damage that heals him for one point of damage, can melee twice with a cool-down ability, and can move after destroying an enemy.
All in all, it's a pretty fun game. Worth 17 dollars, I dunno. I had fun though. Hope I didn't spoil too much. I definitely didn't spoil any story, and I didn't tell you who's the best either. That's for you to figure out. Have some music from the game. Also, in case you're wondering, songs are generally performed at bars and after a boss fight, just in case you were expecting them to play non-stop.
Lyrics from: http://steampoweredgiraffe.com/preparelyrics.html
Prepare (prepare!), for boarding. This Heist (haaa!) will be rewarding.
You can't stop us. Take us down or to-o-op us.
Ready... (Aim!) Now! (Fire!) Water is our desire.
Steam (bots!), unite! A call to arms, we fight. (Haaar!)
Plunder through the stars, Auhm
Steamworld's torn apart, Auhm
Plunder through the stars, Auhm
Steamworld's torn apart, Auhm
First of all, the game is pretty short. It's a good time waster to play between intervals of whatever else, but due to this fact, I don't know if it's worth the 17 dollars and tax you pay for it. Not to say it's bad, but it's somewhat short. You could play it on the hardest difficulty to force yourself to spend more time on it, but I would not recommend the elite setting to start with. Stuff is intense, and down-right unfair, really. Veteran, as the second hardest difficulty, should be the default for an equally challenging and fun game. That's how I played it anyway, and I wound up getting max stars possible within 23 hours. So, if I can do that in less than a day, Veteran is probably your best bet for balance. Go elite if you're feelin' it, but fuck. Ain't easy. Either way, I suppose I should mention what sort of game it is. The game I have to compare it most to is the Worms franchise. Missions involve a turn for either side, where you can move then shoot before ending your turn. It's not just as simple as that, but that's the easiest way to explain the gameplay. Of course, there is cover, trick-shot capability, and various other variables that make it a different game entirely.
Anyway, the game, price disregarded, is really fun for the time you do get to play it. For pistols, you've got the standard handgun and two varieties of sharpshooters. Handguns are mid-tier power with no aiming sight and mid-range potential, but anyone can use them. Sharpshooters are a special type of weapon used by three characters total. One sharpshooter weapon allows movement and long range aiming (High distance ricochet and laser sight), but typically features minimal power with mid-tier critical boost and no bonuses to critical chance. The other variety can only be shot if you have not moved for that turn. It features high tier damage with generally high tier criticals and a 50% boost to critical chance. Next, you have the assault class, used by three characters total. There are assault rifle types and shotguns. Both feature close range capabilities (Meaning that there is a generally large spread and a low threshold of ricochet potential) and high damage. Assault rifles can score criticals, though are not generally reliable at it, while shotguns have a slightly higher base damage and lack critical chance altogether. Both are good at killing enemies and hitting enemies behind with excess. There are also heavy type weapons, taking the form of grenade launchers, rocket launchers, and a minigun later in the game. The grenade launcher and rocket launcher both can be shot after moving, but deal splash damage which can damage the user and allies. The grenade launcher has a slight laser that will show you where the grenade will fire. Trajectory and bounce are up to you, so take care. Rocket launchers have no aiming sight, but fire straight and explode on impact, making them typically safer for hitting what you want to hit without much remorse, along with dealing a more steady damage than grenade launchers. The minigun can be found towards the end of the game. You can't move before shooting it (Much like the critical sharpshooter), so it's like a heavy duty assault rifle. The last sort of damage you can deal, disregarding side-weapons (Sidearms, grenades, and missiles), is melee damage, which is very useless until much later on. At that point, it becomes one of your strongest points for damage and stun-locking heavier opponents.
Beyond weapon variety, there are character classes. Each character has their own unique abilities, even if they share the same character class. Classes generally tell you what someone is best at though. First up, you have Captain Piper. As the only Captain class, she excels in promoting damage when around allies, and can even heal herself and others once per mission. She is a very obvious choice for any mission that involves team members, being a sharpshooter wielding character as well as promoting damage around others. Next, you have Vanguards. Vanguards deal extra damage after being attacked, and are generally bulky characters. After that, there is the Bounty Hunter class. Only one character is a Bounty Hunter throughout the game, and she is essential for taking out groups of enemies. As the only Bounty Hunter, she excels in high damage output. She has the innate ability to fire again after killing an enemy. She can further boost herself a limited number of times by allowing, for one turn, herself to deal infinite kill shots, provided you kill an enemy every time you fire, and even boost the power of herself and allies in a large area around her. She is one of the squishiest characters though, which is risky when she is in the midst of the fight, also making it harder to take advantage of her increased damage potential when below 50% health. Later classes include Sentries who excel at dealing massive damage while stationary, the Flankers who excel at movement and dealing extra damage behind opponents, and the single Brawler character who deals massive melee damage that heals him for one point of damage, can melee twice with a cool-down ability, and can move after destroying an enemy.
All in all, it's a pretty fun game. Worth 17 dollars, I dunno. I had fun though. Hope I didn't spoil too much. I definitely didn't spoil any story, and I didn't tell you who's the best either. That's for you to figure out. Have some music from the game. Also, in case you're wondering, songs are generally performed at bars and after a boss fight, just in case you were expecting them to play non-stop.
Lyrics from: http://steampoweredgiraffe.com/preparelyrics.html
Prepare (prepare!), for boarding. This Heist (haaa!) will be rewarding.
You can't stop us. Take us down or to-o-op us.
Ready... (Aim!) Now! (Fire!) Water is our desire.
Steam (bots!), unite! A call to arms, we fight. (Haaar!)
Plunder through the stars, Auhm
Steamworld's torn apart, Auhm
Plunder through the stars, Auhm
Steamworld's torn apart, Auhm
"What a certain someone thinks." Oh you.
stop screaming at me over Skype because I asked how you were on FA, you salty spatoon.
EDIT: I made a mistake. Your dick has other purposes.
How was the One Punch Man cap of last week? (don´t worry, no matter what you say you can´t spoil me)