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Anime Review: DIABOLIK LOVERS
10 years ago
This…. This anime…..
I don’t know what’s love anymore.
What the hell am I doing with my life? Why do we even exist?!
What am I doing here?!
HEY! YOU! DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO EXIT OUT OF THIS REVIEW!
IF I HAD TO PUT WITH THIS SHIT! YOU HAD TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT!
I AM TAKING YOU WITH ME ON THIS REVIEW BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING DOWN THROUGH THIS HELLHOLE ALONE!
If one person mentions this DIABOLIKAL FAILURE to me after I am done….
I’M GOING TO FUCKING FLIP OUT!!!!
__________________
**STORY**
Story starts with this young brianless lady,Yui Komori, whose been sent to this creepy big mansion by her church and asshole daddy without knowing or told any reason of why she partake on this trip. When this girl arrived she’s introduced to the first person who lived in that house and gave a “doggy greeting”.
Uuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhh
Already the 1st character interaction of the first 6 minutes, in it just went creepy. If I were Yui, I would run the hell out. However, sadly, she didn’t do that. Yui sticks around just to find out she’s lamb to the slaughter for vampires.
Yes. Vampires. Well speaking of “vampires”.
However, this is not your typical everyday vampires. These vampires are immune to every weakness a vampire can be weakened or killed from. Holy Water, Garlic, Crosses, you name it, it‘s useless. Apparently, these vampires are not only up at nights but also during the day. I guess SLEEP is somehow out of the question since they’ve been lying around in couches instead of coffins.
They can only be killed is by a dagger made out of silver. Wolf Vampires??? However, that’s not the case which I will explain on the Character section
Well, back to story. Not only Yui is sticking around just to be food for vampires, she has to find out the ‘mystery’ on why she sees a dead woman in her mind.
About Food…. Since Yui is “food” for these vampires to vampires. THEN HOW CAN THEY EXPLAIN FOR THEY EAT REGULAR HUMAN FOOD ON THE FUCKING TABLE!!!!!!!!??????????
Well each episode is 14 min long so it didn’t torture me too much. Thank goodness, or else I would have lost my mind.
Story as a whole: ATTROCIOUS! FUCKING ATTROCIOUS!
Nothing happens in this anime. NOTHING!!!!
This story is a mixture of Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey had sex with each other. Which I hate two of these. Wait…. Come to think of it. IT IS FUCKING TWILIGHT AND 50 SHADES OF GREY!!!!
WHICH IS A FRANCHISE THAT I HATED AND THE OTHER IS GOING TO BE A FRANCHISE WHEN IT SHOULD'VE BEEN DEAD FROM THE 1ST PLACE!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
1/10
____________________
**ART/ANIMATION**
Bad writing aside, I would give props to the animation department. It’s beautiful with background scenes to lighting. Also of course, blood. The mansion, these vampires live has great art-value to it. From color of the walls to the tapestry. I think the Mansion is the anime’s strong point. However, the atmosphere from the anime destroyed it’s value from where this is going.
The character designs are also gorgeous, so it’s fine. The animation is solid there’s no denying this fact.
Well the animation and the cover art is enough to have anyone think that this anime must be good and have a good laugh and feels.
Ooooh no.
NO! IT’S NOT! NO ONE IS LAUGHING!
This has come to show it that it looks so beautiful on the outside but when you get to see the inside, all you see is an ugly carcass and flies all over it.
DON’T FALL FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT!
8/10
____________________
**SOUND**
I hope you are prepared, because you’re going to hear lots of sucking.
Lots. Of awkward. Sucking.
I do traditionally talk about Opening and Ending songs on each anime I’ve reviewed but I couldn’t bring myself to listen them because they’re such a bore.
The sound direction is at best with its mediocre eerie sounds. The OST handled in each scene is pretty good at best. Cliché for every vampire theme always have that organ music.
7/10
_____________________
**CHARACTERS**
Oh my Deity, where do I even start?
I’ll start with the voice acting, just to get the good stuff out of the way.
I’ve watched both Japanese and English Dubs. I have to say, both are pretty solid for on each one. Bring in motion to each character. I have to feel bad for them to think that this piece of shit would actually be good and get awards.
Yui Komori is so much of a braindead, useless character for she has no will of her own throughout the entire anime. There are times she has been a chance to GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE but NOPE! Yui wants to stay because she care about these boys living under this creepy mansion and wants to find out the ‘mystery’ of this family.
She was given a silver blade that can kill a vampire. Weapon where she can use it to defend herself. What to know what has she done with it? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Just only to get sucked defenseless throughout the entire anime!
The anime tried to have me care for her for she’s poor and doesn’t know what to do, but how she does up until the very last episode, I don’t even give two fucks about her!
Now, the vampires.
FUCK THESE VAMPIRES IN THIS ANIME!!!
All of them are complete fucking ASSHOLES!!! Assholes with no redeeming qualities WHAT SO FUCKING EVER!!!
Not only that, THEY FUCKING BUTCHER WHAT THE VAMPIRE LORE IS!!!!
Immune to traditional weaknesses, eats HUMAN FOOD, AND DON'T SLEEP IN COFFINS!!!
This anime doesn’t explain how they even exist. Like, they never tell what’s the point on drinking this braindead girl’s blood. Does it prolong their lifespan? Give them superpowers? WHAT WAS THE POINTING REASON?!
Only because it tasted so sweet and delicious? WEEEEAAAAK!!!
NO GOOD EXPLANATION! NOT ONE!
Even after all this, there is no character development with all these characters.
This is sad. SO SAD!!!
1/10
______________________
**ENJOYMENT**
Enjoyment? My enjoyment has been INSULTED! It’s insulting to the point of my BRAIN CELLS COMMITTING SEPUKU and DISGUSTING to the very point of asking myself ‘why did I spend my time on this anime?’
If a guy has a hard-on for anime to see one braindead girl be raped by multiple douche bag vampire dudes. Have a go!
If a girl has a guilty pleasure for anime to see beautiful vampire guys going at a merciless girl. Have at it!
As for everyone else, including myself, whose not into that, LEAVE THIS ANIME ALONE!
FUCK!
1/10
______________________
**VERDICT**
I can’t express enough on how much I hated this anime with a PASSION! If my recommendation is “Bury this 6ft under”, this anime would be it and fits perfectly. I would've give this final score a 2 because I appraised the art style and English Voice Acting a little bit BUT IT WOULDN'T ACTUALLY MAKE UP FOR THE FUCKING REST OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT!!!
I really hope there’s no sequel has been made for this Abomination.
I CAN ONLY HOPE!!!!
**VERDICT**: 1/10 - KILL IT WITH FUCKING FIRE
**RECCOMENDATION**: DITCH!
I don’t know what’s love anymore.
What the hell am I doing with my life? Why do we even exist?!
What am I doing here?!
HEY! YOU! DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO EXIT OUT OF THIS REVIEW!
IF I HAD TO PUT WITH THIS SHIT! YOU HAD TO PUT UP WITH THIS SHIT!
I AM TAKING YOU WITH ME ON THIS REVIEW BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING DOWN THROUGH THIS HELLHOLE ALONE!
If one person mentions this DIABOLIKAL FAILURE to me after I am done….
I’M GOING TO FUCKING FLIP OUT!!!!
__________________
**STORY**
Story starts with this young brianless lady,Yui Komori, whose been sent to this creepy big mansion by her church and asshole daddy without knowing or told any reason of why she partake on this trip. When this girl arrived she’s introduced to the first person who lived in that house and gave a “doggy greeting”.
Uuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhh
Already the 1st character interaction of the first 6 minutes, in it just went creepy. If I were Yui, I would run the hell out. However, sadly, she didn’t do that. Yui sticks around just to find out she’s lamb to the slaughter for vampires.
Yes. Vampires. Well speaking of “vampires”.
However, this is not your typical everyday vampires. These vampires are immune to every weakness a vampire can be weakened or killed from. Holy Water, Garlic, Crosses, you name it, it‘s useless. Apparently, these vampires are not only up at nights but also during the day. I guess SLEEP is somehow out of the question since they’ve been lying around in couches instead of coffins.
They can only be killed is by a dagger made out of silver. Wolf Vampires??? However, that’s not the case which I will explain on the Character section
Well, back to story. Not only Yui is sticking around just to be food for vampires, she has to find out the ‘mystery’ on why she sees a dead woman in her mind.
About Food…. Since Yui is “food” for these vampires to vampires. THEN HOW CAN THEY EXPLAIN FOR THEY EAT REGULAR HUMAN FOOD ON THE FUCKING TABLE!!!!!!!!??????????
Well each episode is 14 min long so it didn’t torture me too much. Thank goodness, or else I would have lost my mind.
Story as a whole: ATTROCIOUS! FUCKING ATTROCIOUS!
Nothing happens in this anime. NOTHING!!!!
This story is a mixture of Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey had sex with each other. Which I hate two of these. Wait…. Come to think of it. IT IS FUCKING TWILIGHT AND 50 SHADES OF GREY!!!!
WHICH IS A FRANCHISE THAT I HATED AND THE OTHER IS GOING TO BE A FRANCHISE WHEN IT SHOULD'VE BEEN DEAD FROM THE 1ST PLACE!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
1/10
____________________
**ART/ANIMATION**
Bad writing aside, I would give props to the animation department. It’s beautiful with background scenes to lighting. Also of course, blood. The mansion, these vampires live has great art-value to it. From color of the walls to the tapestry. I think the Mansion is the anime’s strong point. However, the atmosphere from the anime destroyed it’s value from where this is going.
The character designs are also gorgeous, so it’s fine. The animation is solid there’s no denying this fact.
Well the animation and the cover art is enough to have anyone think that this anime must be good and have a good laugh and feels.
Ooooh no.
NO! IT’S NOT! NO ONE IS LAUGHING!
This has come to show it that it looks so beautiful on the outside but when you get to see the inside, all you see is an ugly carcass and flies all over it.
DON’T FALL FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT!
8/10
____________________
**SOUND**
I hope you are prepared, because you’re going to hear lots of sucking.
Lots. Of awkward. Sucking.
I do traditionally talk about Opening and Ending songs on each anime I’ve reviewed but I couldn’t bring myself to listen them because they’re such a bore.
The sound direction is at best with its mediocre eerie sounds. The OST handled in each scene is pretty good at best. Cliché for every vampire theme always have that organ music.
7/10
_____________________
**CHARACTERS**
Oh my Deity, where do I even start?
I’ll start with the voice acting, just to get the good stuff out of the way.
I’ve watched both Japanese and English Dubs. I have to say, both are pretty solid for on each one. Bring in motion to each character. I have to feel bad for them to think that this piece of shit would actually be good and get awards.
Yui Komori is so much of a braindead, useless character for she has no will of her own throughout the entire anime. There are times she has been a chance to GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE but NOPE! Yui wants to stay because she care about these boys living under this creepy mansion and wants to find out the ‘mystery’ of this family.
She was given a silver blade that can kill a vampire. Weapon where she can use it to defend herself. What to know what has she done with it? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Just only to get sucked defenseless throughout the entire anime!
The anime tried to have me care for her for she’s poor and doesn’t know what to do, but how she does up until the very last episode, I don’t even give two fucks about her!
Now, the vampires.
FUCK THESE VAMPIRES IN THIS ANIME!!!
All of them are complete fucking ASSHOLES!!! Assholes with no redeeming qualities WHAT SO FUCKING EVER!!!
Not only that, THEY FUCKING BUTCHER WHAT THE VAMPIRE LORE IS!!!!
Immune to traditional weaknesses, eats HUMAN FOOD, AND DON'T SLEEP IN COFFINS!!!
This anime doesn’t explain how they even exist. Like, they never tell what’s the point on drinking this braindead girl’s blood. Does it prolong their lifespan? Give them superpowers? WHAT WAS THE POINTING REASON?!
Only because it tasted so sweet and delicious? WEEEEAAAAK!!!
NO GOOD EXPLANATION! NOT ONE!
Even after all this, there is no character development with all these characters.
This is sad. SO SAD!!!
1/10
______________________
**ENJOYMENT**
Enjoyment? My enjoyment has been INSULTED! It’s insulting to the point of my BRAIN CELLS COMMITTING SEPUKU and DISGUSTING to the very point of asking myself ‘why did I spend my time on this anime?’
If a guy has a hard-on for anime to see one braindead girl be raped by multiple douche bag vampire dudes. Have a go!
If a girl has a guilty pleasure for anime to see beautiful vampire guys going at a merciless girl. Have at it!
As for everyone else, including myself, whose not into that, LEAVE THIS ANIME ALONE!
FUCK!
1/10
______________________
**VERDICT**
I can’t express enough on how much I hated this anime with a PASSION! If my recommendation is “Bury this 6ft under”, this anime would be it and fits perfectly. I would've give this final score a 2 because I appraised the art style and English Voice Acting a little bit BUT IT WOULDN'T ACTUALLY MAKE UP FOR THE FUCKING REST OF THIS PIECE OF SHIT!!!
I really hope there’s no sequel has been made for this Abomination.
I CAN ONLY HOPE!!!!
**VERDICT**: 1/10 - KILL IT WITH FUCKING FIRE
**RECCOMENDATION**: DITCH!
