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Calmed down but lonely, see no hope
10 years ago
General
If you don't want to know about my life problems and rather just enjoy my art than I'd advice you to not read this.
Trying to figure out a practical way to explain this. To keep it simple, I really want to be around people, as in friends or something. Go out and do whatever, but I just don't know how and where to start. It's what I really miss in life, it's what would make me happy.
My entire life revolves around the accomplishments that I make, in my study and in my art. Obviously not everything will work out, there's always times when things don't work out as you hoped for, which is what has been happening a lot more the last 4 years for me. A life can't be just about accomplishments and nothing more.
I need something to counterbalance the stress that I get from my study. A study being stressful is normal, but without a way out it becomes dreadful.
It's the Christmas vacation now, I don't know what to do so I waste my time again. I do want to go out there away from this PC but I don't know what to do. Lacking social skills to figure out where to start, it's frustrating. I will get nowhere and soon after this vacation my study will continue again and I will most likely fail the coming class because i'd get stressed again.
Trying to figure out a practical way to explain this. To keep it simple, I really want to be around people, as in friends or something. Go out and do whatever, but I just don't know how and where to start. It's what I really miss in life, it's what would make me happy.
My entire life revolves around the accomplishments that I make, in my study and in my art. Obviously not everything will work out, there's always times when things don't work out as you hoped for, which is what has been happening a lot more the last 4 years for me. A life can't be just about accomplishments and nothing more.
I need something to counterbalance the stress that I get from my study. A study being stressful is normal, but without a way out it becomes dreadful.
It's the Christmas vacation now, I don't know what to do so I waste my time again. I do want to go out there away from this PC but I don't know what to do. Lacking social skills to figure out where to start, it's frustrating. I will get nowhere and soon after this vacation my study will continue again and I will most likely fail the coming class because i'd get stressed again.
During the xmas break you should just do what you enjoy, unwind forget all of your troubles even without any rl friends you have peopel on here who are willing to listen and help. I do wish you a happy holidays too ^^
I stopped thinking about the assignment but otherwise everything is going as i expected it. I'm really glad though to have some form of contact even online be it limited as well.
I sadly however have a mother be keeps calling furries freaks and such (the brony lot too since lil sister is one) and belives that online friends are not friends.
I guess I haven't tried enough, I tried to meet up with a class mate a while ago but they were busy than, now I don;t even dare to, not sure what's stopping me, Luckily I had a decent time with my family but I do try to look for contact beyond my family, the people that I live with.
Sadly I'm a whole ocean across, I live in Netherlands, thanks for the offer though. One of my best online friends, here from FA actually lives somewhere in the US, hope to meet him one day, somehow got to get over my fear of flying though.
Im stuck with 2 elderly and a sibling I don't always get along with and even have trouble getting anything like the equipment I need to get the workstations and making the content I been having s hard time doing past 5 years.
Sofar it seems I'm not able to even run campaign for even enough to move out of Alabama
They have to handle my stuff and keep my disability check I was forced to be in due to bills while I get myself unable to even walk to town..
But I know how you feel I'm lonley and want people around me some whenni wanna be out a bit or something
And even feel like I have worth to them..
Its hard when you got this...
Be worse if you equipment died out all and even your systems ....rough trust me.
Tbh most idk if watch me to know me or if onluy for my work .....??
Sigh...such a pain
At least I have some communication at home I guess. But yea I guess aside from that, I already knew I wasn't the only artist that generally feels unhappy, seems to be a rather common thing.
At least now I know that no successes study or art wise will make me happy.
When things go bad it weights down even more when there's no good to balance it all out. I had to deal with a PC breaking down and not knowing a way out before, luckily I had family to help me out.
People mostly check art for their own interests of course, if it's one of your favorite artists or friends you care more obviously.
One thing that I did come to understand is that communication through comments, Skype, etc, although convenient it doesn't replace the need to communicate with people in person.