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Need to find enjoyment in drawing again
6 years ago
General
This has been a issue for a long time already and I think I mentioned it before. I have a lot of trouble getting back into it again. I still have a few finished drawings but the whole process of cleaning up smudges and going through the upload process doesn't seem like something worth my time when I don't even enjoy the process of drawing anymore.
Drawing is still part of me and not something I will ever let go!
The problem is more that I've done nothing but chase my goals rather than enjoying the process for what it is. For years now I had this idea that I wanted to draw hyper muscle at the quality level of
Kuroma, while also telling myself I could never truly achieve that quality. I've been working against myself.
Eventually the lack of getting any good end results drained me. The moment I come up with the idea to draw something I'm immediately telling myself that it's not going to work cause why would it? After all I rarely ever succeeded beforehand so why would this time be any different? Why even try when you already know the end result?
The idea of drawing something that I somehow enjoyed before has been replaced by feeling miserable, and I don't like feeling miserable so it's something I avoid. Except there are times where I do enjoy drawing, I love to drawing in what I like to call a social occasions. I draw when I'm surrounded by other people and when they see my drawing they often go 'woah that looks incredible!' Or something along those lines. I feel more fulfillment out of drawing something quick and random and getting such responses, than from drawing some kind of detailed idea I have in mind that I can never seem to correctly visualize even after working on it for many days. I know at the same time that some of you do enjoy my works and I don't want to take that away either.
For now I need my time to figure out how to enjoy doing the thing I love again.
The thing that motivated me to write this among other things is this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM0tQabjYYg
I suppose I need to use habit-bunching to enjoy drawing again, but what to do next to it I wonder, I enjoy watching youtube vids, but that also means watching. Where my eyes should be on the paper. I definitely do have a habit of drawing in social occasions as well as drawing on the bus for some reason, although I barely ever use public transport. Maybe voice chatting with a friend will work, I still haven't truly tried that yet, does also involve me needing someone else for me to do something I should be able to do myself. It's not all that convenient either.
This is something I need to work on.
I hope you all understand, thank you for reading.
Drawing is still part of me and not something I will ever let go!
The problem is more that I've done nothing but chase my goals rather than enjoying the process for what it is. For years now I had this idea that I wanted to draw hyper muscle at the quality level of
Kuroma, while also telling myself I could never truly achieve that quality. I've been working against myself. Eventually the lack of getting any good end results drained me. The moment I come up with the idea to draw something I'm immediately telling myself that it's not going to work cause why would it? After all I rarely ever succeeded beforehand so why would this time be any different? Why even try when you already know the end result?
The idea of drawing something that I somehow enjoyed before has been replaced by feeling miserable, and I don't like feeling miserable so it's something I avoid. Except there are times where I do enjoy drawing, I love to drawing in what I like to call a social occasions. I draw when I'm surrounded by other people and when they see my drawing they often go 'woah that looks incredible!' Or something along those lines. I feel more fulfillment out of drawing something quick and random and getting such responses, than from drawing some kind of detailed idea I have in mind that I can never seem to correctly visualize even after working on it for many days. I know at the same time that some of you do enjoy my works and I don't want to take that away either.
For now I need my time to figure out how to enjoy doing the thing I love again.
The thing that motivated me to write this among other things is this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yM0tQabjYYg
I suppose I need to use habit-bunching to enjoy drawing again, but what to do next to it I wonder, I enjoy watching youtube vids, but that also means watching. Where my eyes should be on the paper. I definitely do have a habit of drawing in social occasions as well as drawing on the bus for some reason, although I barely ever use public transport. Maybe voice chatting with a friend will work, I still haven't truly tried that yet, does also involve me needing someone else for me to do something I should be able to do myself. It's not all that convenient either.
This is something I need to work on.
I hope you all understand, thank you for reading.
