So i called naketa and calafin this morning to listen to them opening their christmas gift from me. i only wish i could have seen it on skype or seen pictures but hearing their reactions and them enjoying their gifts was very sweet.

Its been almost four weeks since my world was torpedoed and nearly sank and im still recovering. it will be a few years untill im fully healed and even longer until i can trust people. i miss everyone, i miss hearing your voices at night and during the day. everyone is precious to me and everyday im out of touch is painful. true to the spirit of an orca, i enjoy being with others. so to be cut off from everyone is like being in a tank at sea world, away from anyone. when you're alone, and i mean out of contact with those who care about you, the pain is far worse than anything because there is nothing you can do to stop it.

recovery is the goal, and i've lost a lot. people have yelled at me, scared me and wounded me. those who are guilty of these will have to answer to my protectors in time, but vengeance is not recovery. i cannot answer evil with evil, but forgive and move on.

love has kept me going, the love of this community has saved me. but im still being attacked, still having others try to rip me away. they want meiko to die, they want him not to exist anymore. but i will not let him die.