2015 was a sort of mixed year for me, it had good parts and bad parts.

At the end of last year, my car died on me, which meant I needed to buy a new one, which meant getting a loan, soon afterwards, my boss moved into the city, so I had to commute to work every day, the result of which has been I went from being in a pretty comfortable money situation, to basically living paycheck to paycheck, often going over a week with actually no money in my bank account, having to service my car more, having to pay for more fuel, paying off my loan, it’s all such a huge money sink, I need to get better at managing my finances, but it’s difficult, i’ve tried to find ways to save money, food-wise, but it just makes me miserable, I’ll find a way, i’m sure, it’s just sort of frustrating.

I’ve probably become a lot more withdrawn and isolated over the last year, I find it difficult to be around people, It’s just so draining, Especially with the lack of money and all the extra time I spend commuting, I just can’t force myself to go into town and see friends as much as i used to, I regret it, I enjoy being around them, same with my online friends, I’ve got a lot of friends who want to talk to me who I ignore because I just forget to keep up with them, i’ve got friends I want to talk to i’ve stopped messaging, because I just feel embarrassed about pestering them when they don’t get back to me, it just feels like i’m not really cut out for being around other people, I feel like I messed up a lot by being such a shit to people in the past, and I threw away a lot of good, lasting friendships, I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from acting like such a turd, It’s one of my big regrets.

I’ve had a few health issues this year, acid troubles with my stomach have gotten worse, i’ve had a few teeth pulled because I just can’t afford to get the damn things fixed, one nice thing is that I’ve been on Mirtazapine for a while now, and it’s really helped me, being able to sleep soundly on command has made such a difference in my life, and I feel like my mood has stabilised a lot, I still have days where I just feel like complete rubbish, but they’re much more rare than they used to be.

Art-wise, it’s been mixed as well, I haven’t done a lot of art, I find myself often getting really bummed out about that, but I just find it so hard to enjoy drawing lately. But on the other hand, I’ve developed so much of my story this year, It’s starting to feel like a real, living thing to me, characters are starting to be full of life, the only things i’m changing are small details, i’m starting to have dreams about it again, so it’s probably been a good year for it, I wish I could draw more, but I just need to find a way to make myself enjoy it again.

I am so glad I have the cats, Kitty and Martha are such an important part of my life, I can honestly say they’ve saved me, i’ve had times where I don’t think I would have made it if I didn’t have these little sweeties to look after. I hope they stick around for a long time yet, I’m not really ready to go on all alone again.

Overall, I’d say it was a good year, I’m generally happier than I was a year ago, I’m making progress on my story, I’ve had financial troubles, but I haven’t gone into any extra debt.

Life is still tough, there’s a lot of things that make me unhappy, but there’s also a lot of things that make me happy, I’m still here, all my friends are still here, and I think that’s a win for us.

I don’t know about making new year’s resolutions, I’m not really good at keeping promises I make, But i’d like to try and treat my friends better this year, I’d like to try and rekindle my love of drawing, although I have no idea how, and i’d like to have something really solid, story-wise, by the end of this year, just something where i can lock everything down, so I can actually talk about my stuff without changing it all in a week.

I hope you all have a great 2016, you deserve it!