[updated to fix mispelt names and a missing paragraph.]
I really wanted to put 2015 was awful and painful but I am looking forward to 2016 and just be done with it but the more I look at it yeah 2015 was really bad at parts but it helped shaped me more and gave me more drive then most years past.

the start of the year was a surgery to prolong my life, it was successful but it left me in a weird place. I was prepared to die, a small part of me accepted and welcomed it. I was told to think of things that I wanted to still do and see as a means to keep fighting, I remember aside from the usual family answer what things did I want to see or do. A furartist on here actually was a big push.  BabyStar if you have never heard of her or read her comics or listened to her music you are really missing out. I know babyfurs aren't everyone's thing but still this is a truly amazing person who helped me hope for the future. I remember wanting to see what her next comics would bring, I remember hating myself for the fact i was always too shy to contact any of the artists I admired, too shy to get myself out there and be social. After my surgery I had a moment of clarity and decided I survived I should try and face my fears, I contacted some of the artists I truly admired and let them know as such and the feedback was....staggering is the understatement of the year. The furs I met truly helped me smile again. I began talking a lot to  Ursa-Mina who quickly saw through my shy big girl act and saw the giggly babygirl underneath, slowly but surly she helped free me and help me smile bright again, i had always admired her writing and sculptures and the fact we kept in touch through notes made my heart flutter happily, in time she would add me on skype and after long sessions of chat she decided I should be her Little Lady and I couldn't be more happy for that. I love my Mommy Ceres.

As 2015 continued my fiance and I went through a really rough situation which lead me to sitting alone in a hotel room homeless alone and in pain, i had a bottle of pills and i was determined to end everything. It was again thanks to friends and dumb luck that I failed so amazingly. I told my friends after and was overwhelmed by the amount of people who cared. It through me off to know there was so many who wanted me to keep going.

I moved to my biological fathers house after spending a bit on the road, I can't say this was a smart move, he is very abusive verbally and mentally but it did give me the chance to meet [and remet] a lot of people I now consider amazing friends.  Manathevixen,  RedPandaAsca, Seth,  Vaprrenon,  demonlord261  dottedbow  sea-monster-cupcakes

As the year pushed on I got and lost a few jobs, went out for my first time full Fem thanks to some amazing friends and was introduced to a kink event group called the Babygirl DaddyDom Social. This would help me further my courage, sprinkle in some meet ups, an amazing LARP group who let me play a little wolf girl named Saiya, some amazing online friends in WoW and a few other games I grew and became happier.

In time I would return to school and even start going to game nights at my friends house socializing with some amazing furs which would get me to go to my first furry conventions! FAU for a day and then Furpocalypse for a whole weekend. I haven't been able to keep in touch with all the furs I met which is sad but I am so so very grateful for every memory I made with each of them, you helped me step out of my shell a bit more each second I spent with you all and for that I am eternally grateful.  Aricub Thank you for helping me feel super awesome! <3 Junius,  CrescentZealWolf , Tegan,  MaxwellPup Lance, Pop,  Bazel, Fawnix, Manji, Falconeo, Muse, Gally, Scrumpet,  Necroluna just to name a handful of amazing furs I met in person this year and that doesn't count all the great ones I met online.  ApolloStormbane,  ScampRabbit  ZoeTheFox,  Citrine_Topaz,  diaperedwolfzt  Dyriuck_kaos I love you all so very much

There where bad parts of this year, being attacked, being homeless for 3 months the storms and the fighting the betrayals and the lose of people i care about but as I wrote this journal I realized something....its ok....every year is gonna have its bad things, bad days, weeks months, in my life I have gone through plenty of pain and suffering to know that. But....its ok. I kept writing about the amazing furs and great times and realized the good outweighed the bad.

2016 will be a great year, I am gonna not just hope for it but I am gonna make it so. I am gonna continue to strive to better my life and those around me. I'm learning new games, new tricks and other fun stuff.
Resolutions:
1. I'm gonna be braver ~ socialize more, be less shy
2. I'm gonna go see a doctor [I'm terrified of all doctors] to sort out the rest of my health problems
3. I'm gonna drop down to 200 pounds [biggest pipe dream]
4. I'm gonna see a gender therapist/doctor
5. I'm going to go to more conventions and meet ups
6. I'm going to make more friends and have a good times! <3

Thank you so very much for reading this! I hope you have a truly spectacular New Years, and a great 2016.