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[TALKING] Past year and coming year
10 years ago
General
Welcome to INCtastics Journal Well... I havn't been very active this year honestly and I'm slowing down more and more as it seems. I still see the Techies update journal from mid 2014 in my history which proves the point, I went rather quiet and unuploady if it comes to art. I can't really find the mood to do much on it honestly, either I feel guilty for not drawing something on high priority like a trade part or a gift for an important person to me which leaves me completely unwilling to draw anything aside from the thought that it a) won't matter much because it will not get any appreciation in the first place because it's just bad art with no shading - and b) I'm not that good and I am not improving at all, at least that's how I feel about it. I know it seems somehow that I got better but if I look at past works from the beginning of when I started drawing, then I don't see the things that I saw back then in my artworks... I have lost something along the way and I don't think I can ever recover from that - it might be some harsh words, but after ... 5 to 6 years trying to get it back to the point where I said "Yes I completely enjoyed doing that" and it never worked out.
Also I have a rather long queue of things that I still would recieve, be it commission or raffle things and I never got anything which is already going on for years and I know I won't see them anytime in the future anymore, which frustrates me alot... there would be more to show but it just won't get finished and I am not partially good enough to do it myself to my satisfaction.
So now that art is out of the way, I have to say that 2015 was nearly completely... unfulfilling, no job, no income, spent nearly all I had stored of money and I am back at the beginning. Not to mention that in my surroundings things aren't working out as I would hope they would do... decently okay. They are pretty bad to say that.
I am still happy with Piku, Arcy is still my bro in law, and dear Skully is still the shoulder I could let out all my frustration about anything that I couldn't tell Arcy or Piku for whatever reason or I didn't want to. The three are the best. Also Soka and Yarik, they are very great friends as well, they listen, Soka is fun to be around and aside from the shit she has going on in her life she is still so optimistic... I adore that. Yarik is also a person I could rely on anytime. He is patient, he listens very VERY well and I count his opinion to be very high. And my dear friend Bosco as well, it has been much fun.
Althrough it's not always easy with many people I try my best and honestly... I don't feel that I'm nearly enough of a friend to make up what I would owe them all... and in honesty as well, I think my mood went downhill over the years, frustration and depression pulls at you and while I don't have them so much anymore I still give in to them rather easily... which I don't like to show.
Yes I have been quiet, yes I have been inactive and I don't really think that will change alot, the only things I will draw will most likely be birthday gifts for others or something but that's about it. As long as it makes somebody happy it is enough for me.
I could go on about this for hours I thin without getting to the point.
Do I have some New Years resolution? No. I don't, if I don't have I will not be disappointed in the end when I don't fulfill them next year.
Do I hope things get better? Yes totally. But I will have to see how this turns out.
And without focusing on me anymore, which I did enough just now, I wish everybody a great and good start in 2016, have it well, have it good to come, and make the best out of it, I am proud of you. I still have to wait for it an hour and some minutes so it will still take a while here. Anyway, stay frosty everyone.
Incy out.
Sich viel vorzunehmen bringt meistens nichts, vielleicht hilft lediglich die kleine Portion Optimismus im Januar das Jahr besser starten zu lassen.
Joah, ich habe mir an sich schon viel vorgenommen, so ist's nicht, ich hab einige Projekte die ich umbedingt fertig haben will aber das ist schwer xD