i use my journals to let you all know how im doing and what im facing. but a few times my journals have been used to attack me. now im scared to post them.

i just need a hug. today didn't start out well and it got worse and worse. i hate feeling like im dead in the water, that feeling of helplessness. it sucks so much, it really does. ive never felt the feeling of loneliness like this before. its so alien to me that i have no idea how to handle it. writing letters helps me feel not so alone but there is a fear among those i write to that i have addresses for that if they wrote back their letters will be opened by my parents. after much thought i have a solution. ill open a post office box for those who want to write me. those who already have my address can send letters directly to me still or choose the p.o. box. ill post a journal about it once i have it. your letters will be kept secured and private.

its nice to know that i am special to you guys and i hope to be back soon.