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Story:
10 years ago
When my father was alive but losing his mind as the cancer was ripping him apart, I came home one evening as he was fine to be left alone at the start, but came home one evening and went into the kitchen, there were piles of coffee granules and sugar all over the side not in a cup, just pile after pile after pile after pile. So i looked at all the piles and lent out the kitchen and says to him: "Would you like a cup of coffee?
"YES PLEASE!!!" was the response! So i made him his cup of coffee and then cleaned up the kitchen and from that day on never let him do anything alone!
Judge me for that, go on?
When my mother came home from hospital after a severe infection that nearly killed her, I encouraged her to go back to keeping house as much as possible. I wanted her to feel useful. One day she was washing-up and I was drying. I went to dry a fork, (I think it was a fork, this was a while ago), and noticed that it still had bits of food on it. I handed it back to her, suggesting that it could use a bit more welly. She put it back in the wash water, gave it what looked like a scrub and handed it to me. There were still bits of food on it. She tried again; no difference. I took over the washing-up. From then on she was a woman of leisure. I wanted her to feel useful, but the fact is, she just wasn't.