So I'm in a rather interesting position. While my church does not officially sanction any sexual practices they don't really forbid a whole lot either. Ritual sex is not a part of our worship (Ecclesia Gnostica is an independent Catholic church of Gnostic theology, and should not be confused with Ecclesia Gnostica Catholica, a Thelemic church that does practice ritual sex) but we're not perfectly prudish either. At least one member of the clergy at our parish is gay, and they're perfectly fine with me, a transgender woman with an interesting sexual history, beginning a path toward priesthood.

And yet, despite not being reined in by strict rules, I feel compelled to examine my sex life just as I feel compelled to examine pretty much everything else about how I live. By and by, left to my own devices, I've come up with a series of very common-sense resolutions on how to accommodate a healthy, active sex life into a life increasingly dominated by religious matters. I feel that such integration is absolutely essential for becoming a whole person.

Incidentally, this post came about because I was involved in a rather saucy game of month-long chastity and reflecting on the old saying "Give me chastity O Lord, but not yet." I realized how ironic it was that I'm the sort who actually finds avowed chastity somewhat erotic in its own right and a lifetime commitment as incredibly sexy in a weird way. It seems odd to pray for the ultimate denial when I would get a weird thrill out of it, so I won't; chastity, for me, will remain a harmless little kink and my sexual practices will for the most part follow some pragmatic guidelines based on a great deal of reflection.

In the past I was pretty jaded about sex, then after a long hiatus from the rather wild sex life I had in my 20s, I came to the conclusion that although sex itself wasn't destructive, it certainly didn't feel enlightening. Carnality never made me feel closer to God nor did I ever expect it to; it has always felt like something secondary. In fact at times it was a distraction. I have spoken to others who find ritual sex very liberating but that path simply doesn't work for me.

Thus came my first resolution: to de-emphasize sex in my life. I have vowed to no longer pursue it as a primary goal in life as I did in my younger days. When I do have it, I want to make it special but I don't want it to be an all-consuming obsession any more.

Second, once ordained to the priesthood I have to think about how my actions reflect on the church and its priesthood. Even if not forbidden by command to do certain things, they are ill-advised. Obviously, openly soliciting sexual liaisons on the Internet or posting erotic photos of myself would look very bad.

Thus came my second resolution: to clear out erotic photographs of myself (which I have done in most cases) and to not post any new ones; also, to no longer solicit sexual liaisons from strangers. I permit myself to roleplay, get adult artwork done of my characters, and to take part in discussions on sex but there will be no more actual photos or arrangements to meet at conventions and the like just for the purpose of sex or "who wants a night with this vixen?" posts.

Third, the priesthood carries with it certain professional obligations. As a priest or priestess is in some capacity a teacher, it follows that sexual relations with a member of the congregation (aside from my fiancé who also attends services) is as seedy and unsavory and reeks of a power dynamic that I find deeply uncomfortable.

Thus came my third resolution: to never have any liaison with anyone who trusts me as a spiritual advisor. This should be easy for me to adhere to but it's a worthwhile standard to include nonetheless.

Fourth, furry is a sexual outlet for me even if I'm not actively pursuing liaisons any more. I enjoy good furry erotica though it is less of a pursuit than it used to be. However, it may raise uncomfortable questions with those already skeptical of the good intentions of the church I represent.

Thus came my fourth resolution: to keep my religious and secular accounts separated and to not let my involvement in the furry fandom become an embarrassment for the church through my conduct. This does not mean I have to delete my accounts or keep my involvement a secret, but it means I have to be responsible about what I post and where I post it.

Finally, though I have begun to de-emphasize, compartmentalize, and be more thoughtful about my sex life in light of my new focus on a religious life, I do not believe in having secrets; trying to keep my sex life under tight wraps and pretending I don't have needs or urges or do naughty things now and then so that I might appear more virtuous than someone else is the kind of falsehood that can and should lead to the downfall of the sanctimonious.

Thus came my final resolution: to not pretend that I don't have sex, or have desires. To never lie about sex. To not present myself as a chaste and holy virgin when I'm not. To openly admit and own up to anything I do or have done when confronted about it, and to attempt to avert the worst drama simply by giving my sexuality outlets that incur the least harm and embarrassment to everyone involved.

I will, of course, periodically review these resolutions and how they are working for me, and it is very likely that as I continue to de-emphasize sex I may make fewer allowances to anything sexual. At any rate, complete renunciation of sex is not something I feel I need to do at this point in my life; I simply have to re-prioritize.