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Mental Health Updates Wheeee
9 years ago
- favorite fuzzbutts -
Soooo I've been updating you guys on my eye health but I haven't really haven't been updating you guys on my mental health.
I've struggled with mental health all my life. I've always known my brain didn't really work the same way as other peoples but my parents are both very "that kind of stuff will not be in this familiy" kind of people so I haven't been able to be screened or tested for anything.
I've recently been going through some counseling at my school and we're going through screening for things now. My parents and I have both filled out an autism inventory and sent it back to my psychologist. I highly suspect that I may mildly be on the autism spectrum, especially because my father has aspergers. I struggle with interpreting social cues sometimes, I react very badly to change, and I have very bad reactions to certain textures. I also get overloaded by certain sounds and smells, things like that.
Technically, I have only ever been diagnosed with "severe anxiety with psychotic features". This was diagnosed by a general care physician and it also does not exist, back when I started hearing things. I have always had anxiety, and my mom has anxiety. Next week my psychologist and I are gonna do a generic anxiety and depression inventory.
I've done some research of my own and observed my own behavior and I strongly suspect I may have BPD (borderline personality disorder). I experience emotions very heightenedly, to the point of making myself ill (especially anger). I've noticed the past few days that when people do something that even slightly inconveniences me I get extremely angry, to the point of wishing extreme misfortune or harm on them. It wasn't until I started observing my thoughts this closely that I realized that this was not normal.
In addition, I am plagued by intense feelings of worthlessness and boredom that last for long periods of time. These have been around since I was 14 and was originally diagnosed as ADD, as it popped up as a symptom alongside difficulty focusing and irritability. All these things would fall under BPD though.
I'm a little worried that my psychologist will not agree, since she's never brought up BPD before, but I've also never brought this anger up before. The only time anger's ever come up is when she said I was hostile on my intake form and I was like OH NO NO I'M SO NICE only because I thought wishing death on someone for misplacing your order at McDonalds was normal. Whoops.
So yeah, that's going on!
If anyone's curious (and I like talking about myself, one of my symptoms whoops), my symptoms are: severe anxiety, auditory hallucinations, one visual hallucination, severe feelings of boredom, self-worth issues, fidgeting, racing thoughts, inability to focus, intense rage at insignificant triggers (ie. someone bumps into me and now I hate them), intense emotions and mood swings, fear of abandonment, need to be liked so intense that I will stretch the truth, easy to cut people out of my life
I've struggled with mental health all my life. I've always known my brain didn't really work the same way as other peoples but my parents are both very "that kind of stuff will not be in this familiy" kind of people so I haven't been able to be screened or tested for anything.
I've recently been going through some counseling at my school and we're going through screening for things now. My parents and I have both filled out an autism inventory and sent it back to my psychologist. I highly suspect that I may mildly be on the autism spectrum, especially because my father has aspergers. I struggle with interpreting social cues sometimes, I react very badly to change, and I have very bad reactions to certain textures. I also get overloaded by certain sounds and smells, things like that.
Technically, I have only ever been diagnosed with "severe anxiety with psychotic features". This was diagnosed by a general care physician and it also does not exist, back when I started hearing things. I have always had anxiety, and my mom has anxiety. Next week my psychologist and I are gonna do a generic anxiety and depression inventory.
I've done some research of my own and observed my own behavior and I strongly suspect I may have BPD (borderline personality disorder). I experience emotions very heightenedly, to the point of making myself ill (especially anger). I've noticed the past few days that when people do something that even slightly inconveniences me I get extremely angry, to the point of wishing extreme misfortune or harm on them. It wasn't until I started observing my thoughts this closely that I realized that this was not normal.
In addition, I am plagued by intense feelings of worthlessness and boredom that last for long periods of time. These have been around since I was 14 and was originally diagnosed as ADD, as it popped up as a symptom alongside difficulty focusing and irritability. All these things would fall under BPD though.
I'm a little worried that my psychologist will not agree, since she's never brought up BPD before, but I've also never brought this anger up before. The only time anger's ever come up is when she said I was hostile on my intake form and I was like OH NO NO I'M SO NICE only because I thought wishing death on someone for misplacing your order at McDonalds was normal. Whoops.
So yeah, that's going on!
If anyone's curious (and I like talking about myself, one of my symptoms whoops), my symptoms are: severe anxiety, auditory hallucinations, one visual hallucination, severe feelings of boredom, self-worth issues, fidgeting, racing thoughts, inability to focus, intense rage at insignificant triggers (ie. someone bumps into me and now I hate them), intense emotions and mood swings, fear of abandonment, need to be liked so intense that I will stretch the truth, easy to cut people out of my life
I have been diagnosed with borderline and it is definitely a struggle. It is hard to get diagnosed for a personality disorder and generally psychologists do not like diagnosing them esp in younger people (a lot of it is due to it being very hard to treat) so that may be way they haven't brought it up, it's a very last resort thing ;w;
A lot of your symptoms do sound similar to things I deal with so it is possible. If you ever want to talk about it feel free to message me! Regardless I hope you are able to get answers and treatment soon!
Yeah, that makes sense. But from the research I've done this age and a little older IS around the age where it would start popping up? I dunno. She knows that getting a diagnosis is important to me so hopefully this doesn't get pushed under the rug.
Like I said, I literally thought this level of anger was normal for my entire life so every psych person I've ever been to has never noticed it because it's all be internal and I've never talked about it cause I never saw it as wrong, so hopefully this sheds some light on stuff!