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Jinxed
10 years ago
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Should have known better than to jinx myself by uploading my most recent post. Fear of the future/the unknown is one thing...but, to never be offered the opportunity is a totally different and utterly crushing feeling. I never did get called for an interview...
I really felt that my qualifications and experience would have at least landed me an interview, as it was still retail in a sense. If I didn't get the job after that, I would know it was my rusty interview skills. However, we're now going on 2 weeks past when they said they'd be doing callbacks for interviews and I've heard nothing. Which leaves me with a boat load of questions and suspicions...as well as a growing well of depression...
Am I really so unworthy of a better job...of a better life? Did my GM give a false reference on my performance in order to keep me where I am? Is it even worth sinking any more time into trying to get hired anywhere?
Getting that job would have made a marked improvement on my current position in life. I might actually have been able to have a savings account again and some real financial security. It would have surely been a better environment for my sanity and well being as well, just from a day to day stress level kind of sense. And I really -really- felt like I had a good chance of getting it...
Anyways...
I really felt that my qualifications and experience would have at least landed me an interview, as it was still retail in a sense. If I didn't get the job after that, I would know it was my rusty interview skills. However, we're now going on 2 weeks past when they said they'd be doing callbacks for interviews and I've heard nothing. Which leaves me with a boat load of questions and suspicions...as well as a growing well of depression...
Am I really so unworthy of a better job...of a better life? Did my GM give a false reference on my performance in order to keep me where I am? Is it even worth sinking any more time into trying to get hired anywhere?
Getting that job would have made a marked improvement on my current position in life. I might actually have been able to have a savings account again and some real financial security. It would have surely been a better environment for my sanity and well being as well, just from a day to day stress level kind of sense. And I really -really- felt like I had a good chance of getting it...
Anyways...
I applied for a BUNCH of jobs, some of which I do have experience in.
Now I'm wondering...
I'm really sorry this happened, you really never know what happened along the way to make you not get the job. It could be something like they didn't like how you spelled your name or they looked at yours late at night and because they were tired didn't pick any of those candidates but picked the first one they saw in the morning because they were feeling better. It's just random I feel like. *hug*
I mean, you'd like to just believe that maybe they received way more applications than they were expecting and it's taking them longer to sort through them all and set up interviews. It's hard to just cling to blind hope though and I'm going to go mad if I keep trying to convince myself they'll call any day now.
I hoped and prayed and pled with the universe to just give me this though... And like you said, it's crushing to really put your all into something and believe there's hope...only to get the answer back that it still wasn't good enough.
Or just get no answer at all...
Just more people trying to "set me up with jobs" and the moment you're like "Ok, I'm down with that!" they'll starting asking for social security numbers and email addresses. -(._.)-
I'm so sorry this happened to you, its such a shitty feeling.
Of course its worth trying still! I know it sucks but you cant give up, especially if youre miserable where you currently are.
My last job screwed me over in a way that actually made me quit and turn to freelancing. they offered me a high position, and even started training me there. I trained for a week and became friends with the people in the department, and you know what they did? For no reason they put someone else in the position, a new hire... for a whole week they trained me and got my hopes up of stable hours and better pay, it made me feel so sick inside what they did, and yeah, I felt horrible too, didnt know what I had done wrong.
The point is, you didnt do anything wrong. People are shitty and shitty things happen, you just gotta be better than all that noise you know?
If you ever wanna talk I'm here Bou <3
While I still have the hours and vacation time at my current job though, I'm really thinking about taking a random week sometime soon to see how the freelance thing would play out for me. And we'll just see what happens after all that...
Anyways, I appreciate all the kind words and support. I'll do my best to keep soldiering on.
interviews are not what they use to be.
I'm in a similar state done degree in games design
I got rejected last week for a games design job and the company I worked before as a QA tester in the past and yet no =x=
Scary as it is, I'd still rather have the opportunity to try...rather than being stuck in this no mans land where you just never hear anything. After enough of the silence and failed tries, you really start questioning your worth as a person...
I just have to get better about not taking it all so personally or assuming the worst at every turn..
plus hidden discrimination don't help ether.
If I get a better regular job I will mostly dedicate my part time to creating art and shabby chic projects to create commissions as I am planning taking
craft classes in the summer
to update my art marbles as I need a polish and get the stress cobwebs and de-fog my head.