So I was going to go with a group to BLFC, and I was trying to think of ways to make the trip easier for everyone cuz thats what I do, I over think constantly. well today they told me that I make things to complected and that they feel it would be best if we dont go together. They wanted me to cancel the room and refund what one of the group members had contributed. the down payment on the room was 215 and she had pitched 160, I had pitched 55. Well I still want to go to BLFC and they told me to pay the money back by saturday, so I have another group thats going to help me pay her back so we can just have the room, but I cant help feeling hurt. I didnt mean to over complicate things and they could have voiced this sooner instead of cutting me out. its 4 days before my birthday and now I'm going to be broke again. I just paid for a bunch of stuff to make cake and stuff for the bowling meet that I set up for my birthday, and I have 5 other friends with birthdays in the next 2 weeks so I dont know what I am going to do for them. This is all my fault, If I could just stop overthinking and let things be maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe they just really didnt like me to begin with. I dont know. I am feeling very defeated and broken down right now. I have been having emotional issues for the past month (had 2 panic attacks). This is really the last thing I needed right now. I guess Im gonna go to bed. I really hope things get better soon :(
Alright well I am off to bed. Hopefully I will have a brighter update soon