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Another Birthday and Anniversary
9 years ago
It's been one whole year without being on Methadone for m'spinal issues and I really couldn't have done a lot of it without 
reaver666 being there as a support Kitty.
I did a rather rapid detox when I visited him last time this year and I got through it just fine without P.A.W.S. but... with paws... but... without... but... with... erm. HI!
P.A.W.S. in the medical field means Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms. Which when you've been on methadone for as long as I have for spinal issues... was a serious concern especially with heart issues on top of that. 1 year clean and the EKGs show that it was without a doubt, the methadone causing the Long QT Syndrome and without the medication, things are back to their normal Tachycardic state and I'm back to the same level pain I was in, solely due to the fact that the opioid receptors burnt out long long ago and was causing other complications. Since there's no other pain management option for me available, I make do the best I can.
The previous deleted journal was in reference to when this all happened. Nothing overly emotional... I just didn't want to remember it... but I still have to acknowledge it because without having experienced what I've experienced and being where I am today... regardless of all the bullshit and the mire of utter nastiness I've had to tread to get here and the people that have left and or parted ways amicably... or otherwise... I wouldn't have met, formed this amazing bond and be a part of m'Kitten's life. For that... no matter what pain I've had to endure in the past to get here... it was all worth it to be here now.
He never gave up on me. Little guy spent over a year online to get me even out of the house after everyone had left me in the local area, or I pushed them away due to pride and not wanting them to see me in pain. Almost all of them willingly left. Everyone of them stopped talking. When it came to not being able to give money out as much, pay for dinners, take people out to movies, buy games for them, spend money for gas for them to come see you, perform sexual favors or whatnot... you stopped being useful. And one thing you learn in chronic pain clinics... No one likes sticking around people who are in pain all the time. Depression almost always starts a vicious cycle.
Once Max glommed onto me... he didn't let go. He got me out of the house and I got to be who I was again. I felt alive and he gave me some of the best years I could have ever asked for from someone. And the silly thing is... he still wants me around. X3 M'Little Kitten is growing up and I've been there for him, even tutored him through a rather rough class in his college days... and I visit him to give him a break while at University. He'll always be m'Son... M'KittyLover. And I'll always be his DaddyTiger... His TigerLover. I'll get to see him grow up... be a part of his family as he makes one of his own and for that... I'm glad he never let me go.
Through all the pain, blood, sweat and tears... through the laughter, the silliness, the serious and the mindless moments... through everything I am and will be... I'll remain thankful... and forever your Daddy Tiger... M'Sweet Max.
The pain that brought forth our chance meeting... has bore me a Son and a Love that I cannot ever replace. No matter what happens, I'll be by your side. We can weather anything together.
You always were and will continue to be m'Greatest Gift.
reaver666 being there as a support Kitty. I did a rather rapid detox when I visited him last time this year and I got through it just fine without P.A.W.S. but... with paws... but... without... but... with... erm. HI!
P.A.W.S. in the medical field means Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms. Which when you've been on methadone for as long as I have for spinal issues... was a serious concern especially with heart issues on top of that. 1 year clean and the EKGs show that it was without a doubt, the methadone causing the Long QT Syndrome and without the medication, things are back to their normal Tachycardic state and I'm back to the same level pain I was in, solely due to the fact that the opioid receptors burnt out long long ago and was causing other complications. Since there's no other pain management option for me available, I make do the best I can.
The previous deleted journal was in reference to when this all happened. Nothing overly emotional... I just didn't want to remember it... but I still have to acknowledge it because without having experienced what I've experienced and being where I am today... regardless of all the bullshit and the mire of utter nastiness I've had to tread to get here and the people that have left and or parted ways amicably... or otherwise... I wouldn't have met, formed this amazing bond and be a part of m'Kitten's life. For that... no matter what pain I've had to endure in the past to get here... it was all worth it to be here now.
He never gave up on me. Little guy spent over a year online to get me even out of the house after everyone had left me in the local area, or I pushed them away due to pride and not wanting them to see me in pain. Almost all of them willingly left. Everyone of them stopped talking. When it came to not being able to give money out as much, pay for dinners, take people out to movies, buy games for them, spend money for gas for them to come see you, perform sexual favors or whatnot... you stopped being useful. And one thing you learn in chronic pain clinics... No one likes sticking around people who are in pain all the time. Depression almost always starts a vicious cycle.
Once Max glommed onto me... he didn't let go. He got me out of the house and I got to be who I was again. I felt alive and he gave me some of the best years I could have ever asked for from someone. And the silly thing is... he still wants me around. X3 M'Little Kitten is growing up and I've been there for him, even tutored him through a rather rough class in his college days... and I visit him to give him a break while at University. He'll always be m'Son... M'KittyLover. And I'll always be his DaddyTiger... His TigerLover. I'll get to see him grow up... be a part of his family as he makes one of his own and for that... I'm glad he never let me go.
Through all the pain, blood, sweat and tears... through the laughter, the silliness, the serious and the mindless moments... through everything I am and will be... I'll remain thankful... and forever your Daddy Tiger... M'Sweet Max.
The pain that brought forth our chance meeting... has bore me a Son and a Love that I cannot ever replace. No matter what happens, I'll be by your side. We can weather anything together.
You always were and will continue to be m'Greatest Gift.
And most of all, thank you sharing this!
I like to think (sorry if this sort of is cliche-ish) love in life its always a bright story no matter what type of darkness looms around.
A happy belated birthday and I'm glad, just by reading it, that you have a great love in your life ;).
Cheers!