I have had a really emotionally taxing day today... concerning anger. I've gotten enraged at three different people today... for reasons that shouldn't have warranted it. I feel like a horrible friend... I feel like I should be better than this... and I wanted to die so much after the third one... I blocked him for a short time as a time out for him and myself on Skype, as I tend to do after huge blow-ups so no one picks at each other to make the situation worse... and then I laid down on my bed and cried. And then I remembered what I've talked about since early February with my counselor. It's like... early to mid February, and then late February to now... I have gone in there weekly and talked about anger and rage and frustration. Then... last Wednesday, she told me she has noticed this, which brought it to my attention. After looking at what's been going on with me lately to see what may be happening internally to cause such huge and frequent outbursts... I think we found it. March 24... the last time I talked to Niti... before having her taken away from me forever by her father. An anniversary such as this could easily trigger grief, which I seem to act out in two primary emotions. Rage... and despair. Both of which have been popping up, even right next to one another in the past weeks. My friends on Skype could tell you all about that. One has even told me recently that lately I'm down more frequently than up.

After all this... I just want the day to end... I just want this anniversary to pass... so I can be fine... hopefully till June, when her birthday comes up...