What did I ever honestly do to deserve this? The way I am treated by all the people that I used to call "Friends" people I have known for years turn their backs on me. And the only time I ever get to talk to them they want me to take my life. People I used to look up to that now spend their time cyber bullying me to see if they can push me over the edge. They keep trying and trying and I am scared that soon they will succeed. Soon I won't have the will to keep on anymore. I can't stand it anymore. Am I honestly such a horrible person that I deserve to be pushed to suicide? I always tried to change and be a better person. But as soon as I take one step forward someone has to come along and push me two steps back. I had finally started to feel okay about myself. I had started to enjoy life. For the first time in 10+ years I actually wanted to live. But ofcourse I wasn't allowed that. As soon as I felt like that my bestfriend turns his back to me and treats me like crap. And someone I had started to consider as my 2nd best friend starts treating me like shit. Why? I just wanna know why. Why do certain people feel that they have to push me to see if they can get me to try and kill myself. And when I confront these people they act like they are the victims. They tell me I made their lives living hell by being friends with them. Am I some kind of a monster or what? I just can't stand it anymore. My medication doesn't do anything for it either. I am scared that I am going to do something hastily. But I guess who cares right? Apparently no one. I honestly just can't keep on soon. I am living in my personal hell and I can never escape it. No matter what I do I was meant to suffer I guess. I was never meant to be happy. I was meant to die.