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Update on life.
10 years ago
General
Body full of fluff, head full of stuff.
I've been really quiet for a while and haven't even gotten back to a comment, I'm sorry about that. I've also done a ton of sketching but haven't actually edited anything. I've got like, 5 pictures I started editing but never finished.
I feel like I'm in one of the worst depressive slumps of my life. Nearly as bad as what I went through 4 years ago.
I don't want to go into a huge amount of detail because if I told you guys everything that happened 4 years ago, it would take forever. But I'll sum it up the best I can: I was forced to pick a college course, I took it and had to also keep my job, one was in the city, the other in the suburbs where I lived, I took the bus everywhere. A friend of mine committed suicide and since I was the last person he talked to, and because I was stupid and thought I had talked him out of it over text and that was enough, I blamed myself for not saving him. I still do. I drank a lot, I was sexually harassed by an older man at my internship (I worked in a hospital cleaning up blood, guts and all sorts of horrendous things that'll make your stomach sick), and all while I was breaking down, I was being cheated on and then left by my now ex. I failed in killing myself and ran away from home shortly after because I would have to go back to working at the hospital and I didn't want my family to suffer through me slowly dying.
After that, I stopped drawing. It was something my ex and I both loved and we both connected through. I began hating something I used to love doing, if I tried drawing and it didn't go exactly right, I'd throw the sketchbook to the side and get angry.
A few months ago I went through something pretty bad in my romantic life and was again easily replaced. I fell ill shortly after and I haven't been able to work for about 3 months now. Although I'm returning for 5 hours next week (That's it), it doesn't help the stress caused by being forced out. I might only have about 1 month's pay left before I have to live on my friend's couch because the store I work at is privately owned and a lot of owners don't like transferring people to stores they don't own.
I'm going to be really frank here. I'm fucked. I'm completely and utterly fucked right now. I'm sorry I'm complaining do much, I don't want to fill this page with negativity. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry this is annoying. I can tell it is.
I'm going to go lay down.
-Snow
I feel like I'm in one of the worst depressive slumps of my life. Nearly as bad as what I went through 4 years ago.
I don't want to go into a huge amount of detail because if I told you guys everything that happened 4 years ago, it would take forever. But I'll sum it up the best I can: I was forced to pick a college course, I took it and had to also keep my job, one was in the city, the other in the suburbs where I lived, I took the bus everywhere. A friend of mine committed suicide and since I was the last person he talked to, and because I was stupid and thought I had talked him out of it over text and that was enough, I blamed myself for not saving him. I still do. I drank a lot, I was sexually harassed by an older man at my internship (I worked in a hospital cleaning up blood, guts and all sorts of horrendous things that'll make your stomach sick), and all while I was breaking down, I was being cheated on and then left by my now ex. I failed in killing myself and ran away from home shortly after because I would have to go back to working at the hospital and I didn't want my family to suffer through me slowly dying.
After that, I stopped drawing. It was something my ex and I both loved and we both connected through. I began hating something I used to love doing, if I tried drawing and it didn't go exactly right, I'd throw the sketchbook to the side and get angry.
A few months ago I went through something pretty bad in my romantic life and was again easily replaced. I fell ill shortly after and I haven't been able to work for about 3 months now. Although I'm returning for 5 hours next week (That's it), it doesn't help the stress caused by being forced out. I might only have about 1 month's pay left before I have to live on my friend's couch because the store I work at is privately owned and a lot of owners don't like transferring people to stores they don't own.
I'm going to be really frank here. I'm fucked. I'm completely and utterly fucked right now. I'm sorry I'm complaining do much, I don't want to fill this page with negativity. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry this is annoying. I can tell it is.
I'm going to go lay down.
-Snow
