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Changing for the better
9 years ago
Hello fluffs! ♥
So last entry was a bit depressing and sad. I told you what has been going on and all.
This time I want to tell you how it has been going since then.
On Monday morning I went back to the doctor's office to do a "pain measurement", I had no idea at all what that meant and was a little scared that it might hurt. But luckily it didn't hurt more than getting up from bed does. A woman called me in and we went to he same office as on Thursday, she told me to take off my shirt and to sit in a chair. She started off by telling me what she was going to do, she would use this thing that looked like a mix of a pencil and a gun and press it on my 18 trigger spots. I was supposed to tell her when it started to hurt.
That particular day was a pretty good day pain-wise and still I ended up yelping and wincing very much during that whole session and when we were done she said "you sure are sore in a lot of places, what are you here for?", then it hit me. That was why "R" wasn't there to check this on me, he had his suspicions and he had given this to someone who could do it from an objective view. I told her why and she looked a bit...well not worried but she didn't look happy. I was told to wait in the waiting room for my doctor to come get me. (I call him R so we won't use his real name)
When he came to pick me up my heart was racing, I was so nervous.
We sat down and almost immediately he held up the papers and sighed "It is just as I thought, you defiantly have Fibromyalgia. You would need to respond to 11 out of the 18 trigger spots. You reacted to almost all of them without much pressure at all."
I was still a bit in shock from the last visit and now I felt like I had been hit with a blunt guillotine.
Since I got home from that visit I've felt weird, not like myself. It might be because I got new painkillers to help me have a normal life and all that but I've felt....ugly and worthless, like I couldn't do anything.
Like when you've planned a whole bunch of fun things to do, go on a long walk with your dog, go snowboarding, draw, even get dressed. But you just can't, your body won't function the way it should and you can't even get up from bed on your own.
On my worst days Kitty has to support me every step I take because I can't use my cane indoors. She has carried me to the toilet and back, helping me getting dressed and done so much for me.
Every day is painful but it feels a little less painful when I have wonderful friends like you all and a wonderful Kitty ♥
One can feel very down when things are tough but I really try to see the bright side of all of this.
Now we know what it is that is hurtig me.
It is a chronic condition.
As soon as Kitty and I got home she sat down at her computer and looked up a page where they sold pretty canes and other stuff to help people get around with different conditions. We found these really pretty canes that are foldable so I can keep it in my bag on a good day and easily take i out if I would get pain during the day. They are called SwitchSticks and come in a variety of bright colours.
She ordered it for me on Tuesday and I got it on Wednesday. I. LOVE. IT.
It's so bright and colourful, it makes me so happy and doesn't make me feel ashamed of my condition that makes me act like an old person when I'm soon only turning 23.
I will stay active and spread happiness even if I myself happen to be in pain. I will keep drawing on my good days, I will keep snowboarding when I can, I will keep fursuiting and going to cons!!
Maybe this got a little messy but I just wanted you to know how I'm doing.
I'm doing pretty good actually, I feel like the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" fits perfectly in this situation.
If life thrown knives at you catch them and use them against your obstacles! (Don't kill anyone though)
Thank you once again for all your support! ♥♥♥♥ 
On the other hand this does make me kinda feel bad for sorta feeling like I was nagging on you to finish that one art piece, so I'm sorry about that. ^^;
Good that you know what it is now though.
So you can deal with the problem the right way.
*hugs*
Feel a little bad that I asked you for my ref now.
Take your time! There's no rush ^^
Focus on feeling better :)
You are fantastic and so is your kitty ❤
*huugs!*