Have you ever had someone treat you with so much love and then just one day tell you it's over after years of your hard work? Just to replace you with someone else because they weren't able to take your depression anymore?

I just... Maybe I should check myself into the hospital again. The past few days have crushed me into paste and is now trying to set my remains on fire.

I've had dangerous thoughts again. If I suddenly disappear from here for a little while, I guess you know where I am. I try not to let what I went through as a kid effect my adult life, I really do. I know I'm not all those horrible things that where drilled into my head...

Y'know, I've gotten more support from a few people here than I've gotten on sites I've been on for years, and I want to thank you guys. I can normally take a beating and still manage to crawl to my knees. I can still get up even if my legs are shaking.

I just don't know how many more punches to the gut I can take right now.