Just making this lost to just get shit out. I asume no one will read this so that why I'm posting here. I've been depressed about everything lately. I don't know what's cussed it but it's affecting everything I love. I've said stupid things I don't mean to my fiance. I can barely hold a smile, I even get the occasional suicidal thoughts. I can usually get over my negative thoughts by just talking about them, but the only people I trust are constantly busy. Just need to hold on till after work tomorrow, anniversary week with hubby will help.