I gotta work hard. I really do. That last bulletin was a bit rough (on TH), I wasn't feeling well at all and I'm going to leave it up as a reminder of my lower points. I'm sorry I don't really reply to comments I read them all and appreciate them immensely.. knowing people go out of their way to comment really makes me happy, thank you. I don't say it enough.

But I wanted to just. I need to give myself a pep talk, I need to work harder and stay positive. I really do. I let the negativity consume me so often it just controls my actions I haven't been drawing I haven't been taking care of myself I haven't even been giving myself an opportunity to chat adn talk to those around me who care. I just isolate myself and hate myself and let it kill me slowly.

I want to be better I want to talk to people more and keep myself happy I want to work diligently again I don't want to keep making myself guilty. I've been living each day half alive I want to FEEL ALIVE and ACTUALLY LIVE.

I haven't done much art besides mindless sketches and occasional time spent on bigger commissions and trades and I've been living with $11 in my bank account for over a month. Bills are coming. Life is catching up. I gotta work harder I gotta do better. I apologise to everyone for this struggle and to those I've made wait for so long please please if you want to know where your commission or trade is please PLEASE I encourage asking me. Note me about it PLEASE. I don't update my to-do list very quickly and I don't even have everything wr-- ok that's a lie TWO THINGS ARE MISSING THATS IT OK I'm ok. I'm doing okay. Please note me if you think I've forgotten something. I've been an absolute mess since about October, and it went Downhill about mid-February because of some shit.

I'll post this to both TH and FA because you all deserve answers, and I'm sorry. Thank you for sticking by me in this hard time, you'll never know how much I appreicate every single one of you.