Something terrible happened this night. The passing of my father's cat, Kiki Mow. She had a nasty habit of skirting around cars in motion and tonight was the night she pushed her luck just a little too far. Unfortunately, it was my father who has the misfortune of being the device through which she met her end.

I know she is in a better place and that she didn't suffer. Her passing was instantaneous. But my heart breaks for the sounds of distress my father made after the incident. I was part of the clean up crew. It was a fairly clean passing, so at least that horror won't be playing in his mind all the time. But I feel truly sorrowful that he blames himself for it.

I want any who read this to know that my dad adored and spoiled that cat. He would never have done anything to hurt her. And if you had seen how he cried as I saw, you would know that their bond is one that can never be replaced or forgotten. My dad wants to bury her in our yard (yes, I know of the sanitation issues, but we are giving him this one) so we may be working on that tomorrow morning.

I feel so useless...not being able to comfort my father in his time of need. I just hope he can come to terms with the fact that it wasn't his fault, before he works his way down into his own darkness again.

I have plans, in the future (not sure how far out yet) to maybe get my dad a new kitten, perhaps one that can be an inside/outside cat so that we don't have to worry about something like this and so that mom won't complain about litter boxes. And also so that he will be able to spend more time with and cuddle with, because he has depression, PTSD and possibly some other mental illnesses that require lots of cuddles with furry things. But we'll see how that pans out.

Also, my last note for this, she did not suffer as far as I can tell. It looked as though she was dead on impact. And there wasn't much clean up needed, other than of the body. I did hose down the area of the street for what little blood was there, and did the same for the shovel we used to move her. Not that any of you probably want to hear that, but I figure it was the cleanest way she could have gone aside from old age.

You will be missed, Kiki. But I hope you have found your own slice of happiness beyond this realm.