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:/
9 years ago
General
Welp, I finally decided to get that sad journal off my page but I'm not sure if this one is gonna be any better really.
I'm not sure how far my last journal went, so I'm just gonna write. My mother passed away in January and it pretty much turned my life upside-down and I don't know if I can handle it. we were living in Utah at the time and we're a military family, so we move around a lot.
After mom passed away, we had to move again. We found out in February and we were going to be leaving Utah in the middle of March. It was extremely stressful. I had to go through all of my stuff and all of my mother's stuff and we had to pack up everything in the house and get things ready for the movers that were coming in two weeks. Everything was just moving way too quickly.
I was scared I wasn't going to make it to the Middle Tennessee Anime Convention (MTAC) that I've been planning with my friends since December when we bought the tickets. Luckily, I talked to my dad and he was fine with me going. I was really happy about that and I went out and bought a new sewing machine because I couldn't do anything with the one that we had. I went to Hobby Lobby bought some faux fur fabric and I sewed an entire werewolf custom from scratch. It was really hard and such a pain in the ass but I was really happy when I was done and it looked good too. I didn't know how to sew very well when I went into it but I just went for it!
My friends and I were planning on going as League of Legends characters and I chose Feral Warwick. I even joined the Cosplay contest too!
It took a week to make and I spent many hours of the night sewing it because I only had a week to finish all of it before the movers came. I got it all done just in time for the movers. I was trying to make gloves to go with it, but I didn't get the chance. The movers were working around me and I felt kinda bad about it. ^^; But at least the most important parts of the costume were done.
The house was empty within two days and we stayed with my dad's friend's house while my dad got everything else ready for us to leave. I was miserable there. The house was dirty and I really hated watching those kids terrorize my dog. They were 9 and 10, i believe. She chased her around the house and climbed on her. I snapped at them several times to just leave her alone but they don't listen and their dad doesn't care what they do. It was frustrating as hell.
I mostly laid on the couch and drew and slept all day. There wasn't much else to do. Eventually, the dad ordered a custom tattoo commission from me and he pain $50 for it too! I'm really happy he liked it and I'm excited for him to get it.
After two weeks of that, we finally we on the road. It took about 5 days and we stopped in a few states to see people. We stopped in Tennessee and I was really happy to see all my lovely friends for a few days.
We finally got to our destination and we're in a hotel now. We've been in a hotel since March 19th. I am dying. It's boring and confining. I have to share a pull out couch bed with my brother and holy hell, his snoring sounds like a lawn mower sucked up a chainsaw and both of them are screaming.
It's a pain having to listen and sleep next to that. I decided that it's easier to fall asleep if I'm dead tired so I stay up late. The problem is, I end up staying up until 5 am or later and sleep for the day. That's been going on for a while now and I'm sure it's not doing anything for my health. Oh well.
Easter weekend, I got to go to MTAC. I took a plane down there to Tennessee and chilled with my friends. We got a cheap and nice hotel that was 5 minutes from the con. It was great! I was happy my Warwick cosplay held up but that shit was so hot! It was thick and I had a hot ass collar around my neck too that was just keeping in the heat. Next year I'm going try something that's a lot less hot. Probably something League still. Maybe Thresh and/or Illoai. I've got a whole year to decide and make it.
This year it was in two hotels again, but most of the panels and vendors rooms were in the main hotel. The second hotel was different from last year and it was mostly video games and arcade games in it. The only reason we went to the second hotel was to get Bryce Papenbrook's autograph. I was really excited to get him to sign my Blue Exorcist manga. He's the voice of Rin Okumura. I didn't know how excited I actually was until I squealed a few times. When it came time for us to take a picture, sissy passed me the camera and I was shaking so much! I was surprised we even got a clear picture! xD I also got Vic Mignogna's autograph in my Full Metal Alchemist art book(He's Edward Elric). That was pretty awesome. I bought some phone charms and some landyards. I got a doodle commission of Shiroiyo. It's cute. She needs some more art. I also bought professional pictures of my and my friends' cosplays. They look really good. I bought some league of legends swords for my bro and my dad. I wanted to bring them something back but neither of them watch anime. It's hard to buy something for someone at an anime convention if everything is just anime. They don't play League either, but the weapons look cool and they liked them, so I'm happy.
While I was down there, I also broke up with my boyfriend. We were growing apart and I was stressing myself out trying to keep us together. I'm not going to get deep into it. I don't really want to talk about it too much. He's really not a bad guy and I'm glad we're still friends. He's still cute and sweet. Sometimes I miss him, but I suppose it was for the better. There's not much more I want to say about that.
But after all they, I went back and I've been spending a lot of days in the hotel. I've started working out though since there really isn't much else to do in the hotel. There's a little gym in the hotel and I can do some workouts in there. My work out videos are packed up currently, but there's ones on youtube that I do. It sucked at first. I kinda like the sore workout feeling except when it hurting my ass and legs and I don't want to move around because of it. xD but that's how you know it's working.
I explore a little bit but everything is so spread out. Maybe because we're in a hotel, but damn. It takes about 15- 20 minutes to get anywhere. My dad wants me to go out and do things by myself. He says that I should go clubbing so I could meet some people. That annoyed me some. I don't even go clubbing with my friends, so why would I want to go by myself? Also, I'm an anime watching hermit that likes drawing. I don't think I'd be making any friends like me in a club.
I got a betta fish. His name is Rin. I've never had a betta before. I was in staples, getting my badges laminated and I found a petsmart nearby. I got the fish and the tank for 15$ all together. He likes to sit at the bottom of the tank and I googled why. He must be sick because google said bettas are active swimmers and he just sits. I think his water is too cold. It's always fricking cold in this room, maybe he's cold too. I don't really know. It's stressing me out.
I feel like I get stressed over a lot of things pretty easily these days. I just can't be happy. I don't really have anything to be happy about. I miss my mom a lot. I used to spend a lot of time with her, just chilling or watching movies together with her. We'd talk about things and just be together. It's not the same trying to do that sort of thing with my dad. I love him too, but he's just not my mother. I write letters to her. I pretend like she's on a trip for a while but a lot of times that's hard to do because I know she's not coming back. I'm pretty lonely most of the time. I could just use a friend.
I guess I can say I've got a lot of time on my hands to get some art done. I've been working on badges, mostly for people on instagram. I've also started rewriting my story. I've got a lot to do still but it's coming along.
I guess that's it for now.
I'm not sure how far my last journal went, so I'm just gonna write. My mother passed away in January and it pretty much turned my life upside-down and I don't know if I can handle it. we were living in Utah at the time and we're a military family, so we move around a lot.
After mom passed away, we had to move again. We found out in February and we were going to be leaving Utah in the middle of March. It was extremely stressful. I had to go through all of my stuff and all of my mother's stuff and we had to pack up everything in the house and get things ready for the movers that were coming in two weeks. Everything was just moving way too quickly.
I was scared I wasn't going to make it to the Middle Tennessee Anime Convention (MTAC) that I've been planning with my friends since December when we bought the tickets. Luckily, I talked to my dad and he was fine with me going. I was really happy about that and I went out and bought a new sewing machine because I couldn't do anything with the one that we had. I went to Hobby Lobby bought some faux fur fabric and I sewed an entire werewolf custom from scratch. It was really hard and such a pain in the ass but I was really happy when I was done and it looked good too. I didn't know how to sew very well when I went into it but I just went for it!
My friends and I were planning on going as League of Legends characters and I chose Feral Warwick. I even joined the Cosplay contest too!
It took a week to make and I spent many hours of the night sewing it because I only had a week to finish all of it before the movers came. I got it all done just in time for the movers. I was trying to make gloves to go with it, but I didn't get the chance. The movers were working around me and I felt kinda bad about it. ^^; But at least the most important parts of the costume were done.
The house was empty within two days and we stayed with my dad's friend's house while my dad got everything else ready for us to leave. I was miserable there. The house was dirty and I really hated watching those kids terrorize my dog. They were 9 and 10, i believe. She chased her around the house and climbed on her. I snapped at them several times to just leave her alone but they don't listen and their dad doesn't care what they do. It was frustrating as hell.
I mostly laid on the couch and drew and slept all day. There wasn't much else to do. Eventually, the dad ordered a custom tattoo commission from me and he pain $50 for it too! I'm really happy he liked it and I'm excited for him to get it.
After two weeks of that, we finally we on the road. It took about 5 days and we stopped in a few states to see people. We stopped in Tennessee and I was really happy to see all my lovely friends for a few days.
We finally got to our destination and we're in a hotel now. We've been in a hotel since March 19th. I am dying. It's boring and confining. I have to share a pull out couch bed with my brother and holy hell, his snoring sounds like a lawn mower sucked up a chainsaw and both of them are screaming.
It's a pain having to listen and sleep next to that. I decided that it's easier to fall asleep if I'm dead tired so I stay up late. The problem is, I end up staying up until 5 am or later and sleep for the day. That's been going on for a while now and I'm sure it's not doing anything for my health. Oh well.
Easter weekend, I got to go to MTAC. I took a plane down there to Tennessee and chilled with my friends. We got a cheap and nice hotel that was 5 minutes from the con. It was great! I was happy my Warwick cosplay held up but that shit was so hot! It was thick and I had a hot ass collar around my neck too that was just keeping in the heat. Next year I'm going try something that's a lot less hot. Probably something League still. Maybe Thresh and/or Illoai. I've got a whole year to decide and make it.
This year it was in two hotels again, but most of the panels and vendors rooms were in the main hotel. The second hotel was different from last year and it was mostly video games and arcade games in it. The only reason we went to the second hotel was to get Bryce Papenbrook's autograph. I was really excited to get him to sign my Blue Exorcist manga. He's the voice of Rin Okumura. I didn't know how excited I actually was until I squealed a few times. When it came time for us to take a picture, sissy passed me the camera and I was shaking so much! I was surprised we even got a clear picture! xD I also got Vic Mignogna's autograph in my Full Metal Alchemist art book(He's Edward Elric). That was pretty awesome. I bought some phone charms and some landyards. I got a doodle commission of Shiroiyo. It's cute. She needs some more art. I also bought professional pictures of my and my friends' cosplays. They look really good. I bought some league of legends swords for my bro and my dad. I wanted to bring them something back but neither of them watch anime. It's hard to buy something for someone at an anime convention if everything is just anime. They don't play League either, but the weapons look cool and they liked them, so I'm happy.
While I was down there, I also broke up with my boyfriend. We were growing apart and I was stressing myself out trying to keep us together. I'm not going to get deep into it. I don't really want to talk about it too much. He's really not a bad guy and I'm glad we're still friends. He's still cute and sweet. Sometimes I miss him, but I suppose it was for the better. There's not much more I want to say about that.
But after all they, I went back and I've been spending a lot of days in the hotel. I've started working out though since there really isn't much else to do in the hotel. There's a little gym in the hotel and I can do some workouts in there. My work out videos are packed up currently, but there's ones on youtube that I do. It sucked at first. I kinda like the sore workout feeling except when it hurting my ass and legs and I don't want to move around because of it. xD but that's how you know it's working.
I explore a little bit but everything is so spread out. Maybe because we're in a hotel, but damn. It takes about 15- 20 minutes to get anywhere. My dad wants me to go out and do things by myself. He says that I should go clubbing so I could meet some people. That annoyed me some. I don't even go clubbing with my friends, so why would I want to go by myself? Also, I'm an anime watching hermit that likes drawing. I don't think I'd be making any friends like me in a club.
I got a betta fish. His name is Rin. I've never had a betta before. I was in staples, getting my badges laminated and I found a petsmart nearby. I got the fish and the tank for 15$ all together. He likes to sit at the bottom of the tank and I googled why. He must be sick because google said bettas are active swimmers and he just sits. I think his water is too cold. It's always fricking cold in this room, maybe he's cold too. I don't really know. It's stressing me out.
I feel like I get stressed over a lot of things pretty easily these days. I just can't be happy. I don't really have anything to be happy about. I miss my mom a lot. I used to spend a lot of time with her, just chilling or watching movies together with her. We'd talk about things and just be together. It's not the same trying to do that sort of thing with my dad. I love him too, but he's just not my mother. I write letters to her. I pretend like she's on a trip for a while but a lot of times that's hard to do because I know she's not coming back. I'm pretty lonely most of the time. I could just use a friend.
I guess I can say I've got a lot of time on my hands to get some art done. I've been working on badges, mostly for people on instagram. I've also started rewriting my story. I've got a lot to do still but it's coming along.
I guess that's it for now.
