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Where are my Affy memes??!
9 years ago
Holy FUCK
I went to hell and back.
College has been really tough on me, especially during my first semester. At first, things seemed like a breeze. I was on my own, had my apartment to myself (room mate is never here), and could do whatever the hell I wanted!
Those few weeks of bliss were cut short by depression. Loneliness began to creep in on me, school was getting harder, I was falling behind, my thoughts started to spiral each passing day. I felt as if I were dragging a sag of meat around while doing my groceries. I stopped drawing. I stopped doing videos. I stopped talking. I began to have massive moods swings, and would have regular panic attacks every other day, which I have never had before...
My medication, Paxil, was making me suicidal. It has a reaction with young adults that makes them incredibly depressed, thousands of people have killed themselves from this crap.
I ran out of pills and went cold turkey, I honestly don't remember and don't want to think about the way I felt then.
I switched to Celexa and was prescribed xanax. It took a long time for the pills to kick in, but by winter break I was feeling better. I almost failed all of my classes T ~ T
Took a whole month off and ran away from it all. Drove to Florida to meet my bf's family for the first time for Christmas. Then we traveled to the Black Hill's and stayed in a friend's cabin away from all of society for about a week in isolation. I was given a lot of time to reflect on everything that had happened. I connected with a few friends afterwards, but eventually shut up again..
Eventually the new semester started. Math had me stressed from day 1, and was my main anxiety causer until I had dropped it recently. I've been stressing really hard on not fucking up, to the point where I feel constantly ill...
I'm doing better now, a lot better than I was. I'm trying to open back up to all of my friends and contacts, and I'm so sorry if I never replied to a note you sent, I got quite a few >~<;
I'm trying to get back into the swing of drawing. I'm really rusty now, I haven't done any [worthy] traditional art since last year, and my tablet has been out of commission as I need to send it out to get repaired.
I really don't want to focus on commissions right now for a while, I may do a YCH here and there but I need to practice more.
Hell in a little over 2 days I'll be 19, I've been so preoccupied I forgot my own birthday x.x
Expect to see more from me soon, I'll upload some old art and WIPs, I have a LOT of stuff that I couldn't get myself to finish.
sounds like you've been having a hard time, i'm rlly sorry. I'm glad you're a lot better now
Do you use Skype?