Lil short thing I wanted to say mostly about my study again.
Seems I really have a lot of trouble with negative performance anxiety. I basically am too afraid that things won;t work out that I won't ever start working on it but once I get over those barriers I properly get things done.I mostly have trouble working on my own but as soon as I work with someone else on something I can really get a lot of things done, mostly working myself, just discussing some things that come as roadblocks for me helps.

Another problem I walk into is not being able to flip the switch for how I should respond between different situations. The issue probably starts up from my lab work where I still don't manage to work fast enough and ask too many questions. Being perfectionist is probably why I walk into these issues, they don't expect you to perfectly succeed in your experiments, they prefer that you just get all the work done for the day in a reasonable time. You do need to understand what you do in the end but during the lab work itself they don't focus on that much at all.
So the problem that comes out of this is that I end up too scared to ask questions at other times like during lectures or asking others for help for a assignment. It's also mainly the lab work which makes me thinks that nothing that I do is enough, not even for lecture work or for when i draw, or things at home, I feel like i don't do enough.
So yea that's some issues I walk into, I figure it's better to try figure out the issues instead of just saying I'm bad.
I could also say like a lot of artists that I'm simply bad at drawing but that's not going to get me anywhere and also not the issue. My issue with art is simply that I don't draw enough, which is of course difficult because of my study but that's just how it is for now. If I can work better during my study I will ultimately also be able to study figure drawing more on my own.