one moment I was focused and about to get started continuing the fan fic that I promised you all then all of the sudden I'm...this; motivation gone I feel depressed all of the sudden, my body feel heavy and my chest feels like it's being crushed from the inside follow by a friggin killer headache which wants me to bang on it to the point I open my head up and won't feel it anymore then it possibly going to kill me or just possibly collapse all of the sudden for no reasons.

maybe my hard everyday life and some of laziness is getting a hold of me...or my "dark" self has broken free and now wreaking havoc into to do his bidding.

I know I am going absolutely crazy. but I need to resolve the situation as soon as possible before it gets worse or I need to get help fast.

problem is I don't get others involve with my problems no matter how personal it is. but at times likes this...I think I gonna need help and I need help now before this gets out of hand something bad is gonna happen to me...or WORSE.
and to be honest...this isn't my first time feeling this way, that last time start acting like this was when I try to...crap.

look to those who is expecting anything from me later on. I'm sorry.
but I need to take care of this now...

so please, comment and hope I get better. and how I am feeling right now...this is not a joke, I repeat; this is not a joke.
i need to clear my head.