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Cheater
9 years ago
So I want you guy's opinion on something.
I was dating this girl. She introduced me to some of her online friends. One of which was a guy she admitted to having feelings for, had asked out at one point, but he turned her down, but stayed friends. I was like ok, I'm cool with this. I won't tell you who you can and can't be friends with, that wouldn't be cool.
So she talked about him a lot, and I mean every time we spent time together, he came up somewhere and I'd end up listening to her talk about how awesome he is and how they played all these games together all the time. I'm generally not the jealous type, so I was ok with it. She was just having fun.
Well one day when she was on her computer, I walked up behind her and saw some of the messages between them. They were role playing sex. I didn't sneak up to her, but once she noticed me, she closed the I.M. as fast as possible. I said nothing and walked away. In the year I dated her, I became friends with this other guy, to show her I trusted her. The guy was cool, fun to chat with, but he always talked about her and asked how good the sex was with her and such. Thought nothing of it.
I sat on my new discovery for a few days, then decided to ask the guy what was up. He said he "didn't mean to get between us and that it was "just role playing"... it was explicit sex role play. Full dive descriptive writing. I then asked my girl about it. She said she did nothing wrong, that it was perfectly fine and she did nothing wrong cause it was, again, "just role play "... I felt like she cheated on me. Sex, whether role playing or in person, with someone else is cheating in my eyes. Not to mention with someone she obviously still had feelings for. AND, I learned they did it every weekend, and "relieved themselves" to it. Her response to it all was "I did nothing wrong."
Was I wrong to dump her for cheating? Do you guys think it was cheating? If you saw your mate was doing sexual role play with another, would you have left them? I've had other girls cheat on me, so was I over reacting? Please, I'd greatly appreciate any and all advice.
Thank you.
I was dating this girl. She introduced me to some of her online friends. One of which was a guy she admitted to having feelings for, had asked out at one point, but he turned her down, but stayed friends. I was like ok, I'm cool with this. I won't tell you who you can and can't be friends with, that wouldn't be cool.
So she talked about him a lot, and I mean every time we spent time together, he came up somewhere and I'd end up listening to her talk about how awesome he is and how they played all these games together all the time. I'm generally not the jealous type, so I was ok with it. She was just having fun.
Well one day when she was on her computer, I walked up behind her and saw some of the messages between them. They were role playing sex. I didn't sneak up to her, but once she noticed me, she closed the I.M. as fast as possible. I said nothing and walked away. In the year I dated her, I became friends with this other guy, to show her I trusted her. The guy was cool, fun to chat with, but he always talked about her and asked how good the sex was with her and such. Thought nothing of it.
I sat on my new discovery for a few days, then decided to ask the guy what was up. He said he "didn't mean to get between us and that it was "just role playing"... it was explicit sex role play. Full dive descriptive writing. I then asked my girl about it. She said she did nothing wrong, that it was perfectly fine and she did nothing wrong cause it was, again, "just role play "... I felt like she cheated on me. Sex, whether role playing or in person, with someone else is cheating in my eyes. Not to mention with someone she obviously still had feelings for. AND, I learned they did it every weekend, and "relieved themselves" to it. Her response to it all was "I did nothing wrong."
Was I wrong to dump her for cheating? Do you guys think it was cheating? If you saw your mate was doing sexual role play with another, would you have left them? I've had other girls cheat on me, so was I over reacting? Please, I'd greatly appreciate any and all advice.
Thank you.
given, it's better to look out for yourself in that kinda situation than letting it draw out and turn into emotional abuse as well. (is what one of my best buds from high school just got through there)
but unless y'all had an open relationship with approved person/s--it's not kosher to be getting into erotic stuff with others. :) given, if it was them doing like some erotic publishing piece together as friends for business of sorts; that'd be different story entirely. <very likely not the case here though.>
i say you spared yourself a shitton of stress ending it like that dude.
If she had asked if it were ok to do it, I wouldn't have minded at all, but she kept it secret... behind my back. That wasn't cool.
Source: unfortunate personal experience
The fact that she denied wrongdoing, rather than apologizing, says a lot. It's not worth it.