So...

...

God there really isn't a nice way to go about this.

I had a break down last night. Big enough to rock me to the core of feeling helpless, hopeless, and like I can do nothing about my life. I'm suffering from a mild depression from the stress in my life. It's a bit crippling with my debt, me life, even my job. Where it came from? I'm still not entirely sure it literally just surfaced this week, it might have come up occasionally during the past couple of weeks but not this bad. Not to the point of wailing on my boyfriends shoulder in the wee hours of the morning telling him what kind of a piece of shit I am.

It could just be from stress. I was also told it can be a side-effect from my ADHD being unmedicated for as long as I've been. It also could have been another ban threat from a commissioner, whatever started it I'm not sure. But I need some help.

So. With all this said I'm so sorry to my newest commissioners but I ask for your respect in my time away. I'm going to need a month to sort this out. I won't be back let alone online until the beginning of June. I'll try to keep you all up to date but what I'm getting from everyone is to not isolate myself as much as possible and force interactions to keep my mind from slipping into this feeling of helplessness.

I can't being to say how sorry I am, I can't even stop my self from weeping since yesterday. It's amazing I even got through my work day.

Again, I'd love your patience through this difficult time for me, no one can plan for this to happen.

Thank you all so much.. I'll be in touch.